Tangled subtitles (with lengths)

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________
NARRATOR: "The changing
of the seasons

_________________________________

"brings wonder to the world
_________________________________

"For ages has the magic

of the fairies been unfurled
_________________________________

"But nature's greatest changes

come beneath the autumn sky
_________________________________

"and mysteries reveal themselves

as harvest time draws nigh
_________________________________

"This year, a shimmering blue moon

will rise before the frost
_________________________________

"Perhaps its rays can light the way

to find what has been lost"
_________________________________
FLYNN: This is the story of how I died.

_________________________________

But don't worry, this is a fun story,

and the truth is, it isn't even mine.
_________________________________

This is the story of a girl

named Rapunzel.
_________________________________

And it starts with the sun.
_________________________________

Once upon a time, a single drop

of sunlight fell from the heavens.
_________________________________

And from this small drop of sun

grew a magic golden flower.
_________________________________

It had the ability to heal

the sick and injured.
_________________________________

Oh, you see that old woman over there?

You might want to remember her.
_________________________________

She's kind of important.
_________________________________

Centuries passed
_________________________________

and a hop, skip and a boat ride away

there grew a kingdom.
_________________________________

The kingdom was ruled

by a beloved king and queen.
_________________________________

And the queen

was about to have a baby.
_________________________________

But she got sick.
_________________________________

Really sick.
_________________________________

She was running out of time,
_________________________________

and that's when people

start to look for a miracle.
_________________________________

Or in this case, a magic golden flower.
_________________________________

Ah! I told you she'd be important.
_________________________________

Instead of sharing the sun's gift,
_________________________________

this woman, Mother Gothel,

hoarded its healing power
_________________________________

and used it to keep herself young

for hundreds of years.
_________________________________

And all she had to do

was sing a special song.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower, gleam and glow
_________________________________

Let your power shine

_________________________________
Make the clock reverse

_________________________________
Bring back what once was mine

_________________________________
What once was mine

_________________________________
FLYNN: You get the gist. She sings to it,

she turns young. Creepy, right?
_________________________________

(VOICES APPROACHING)
_________________________________

We found it!
_________________________________
FLYNN: The magic of the golden flower

healed the queen.
_________________________________

A healthy baby girl, a princess

was born, with beautiful golden hair.
_________________________________

(BABY COOING HAPPILY)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

(COOING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING SOFTLY)
_________________________________
FLYNN: I'll give you a hint,

that's Rapunzel.
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

To celebrate her birth,
_________________________________

the king and queen

launched a flying lantern into the sky.
_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHEERING)
_________________________________

And for that one moment,

everything was perfect.
_________________________________

And then that moment ended.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower, gleam and glow
_________________________________

Let your power shine
_________________________________

Make the clock...

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL CRYING)
_________________________________
FLYNN: Gothel broke into the castle,

stole the child,
_________________________________

and just like that, gone!
_________________________________

The kingdom searched and searched,

but they could not find the princess.
_________________________________

For deep within the forest,

in a hidden tower,
_________________________________

Gothel raised the child as her own.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: (SINGING)

Save what has been lost
_________________________________

Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

What once was mine

_________________________________
FLYNN: Gothel had found

her new magic flower,

_________________________________
but this time,

she was determined to keep it hidden.

_________________________________
Why can't I go outside?
_________________________________

The outside world is a dangerous place,
_________________________________

filled with horrible, selfish people.
_________________________________

You must stay here, where you're safe.
_________________________________

Do you understand, flower?
_________________________________

Yes, Mommy.
_________________________________
FLYNN: But the walls of that tower

could not hide everything.
_________________________________

Each year, on her birthday,
_________________________________

the king and queen released

thousands of lanterns into the sky
_________________________________

in hope that one day

their lost princess would return.
_________________________________

(IF YOU BELIEVE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Time to turn the maple
brilliant crimson
_________________________________

Time to turn the Aspen
sparkling gold

_________________________________
Time to tumble apples
from their branches

_________________________________
Time to tell
the breezes crisp and cold

_________________________________
A chilling
_________________________________

Folds the countryside

_________________________________
Kiss of morning mist
upon the meadow

_________________________________
Scent of wood smoke
swirling in the air

_________________________________
Signals that it's high time
for the harvest

_________________________________
Every pumpkin, peach
and prickly pear
_________________________________

With ripened fruit to bear

_________________________________
If you believe

_________________________________
In who you are

_________________________________
Who you were
always meant to be

_________________________________
If you open up your heart

_________________________________
Then you set your spirit free

_________________________________
In this time of the season

_________________________________
Every leaf on every tree

_________________________________
Will start to shine

_________________________________
Come and see

_________________________________
Take my hand

_________________________________
Come with me

_________________________________
And fly

_________________________________
(GOOSE HONKING)
_________________________________

Oh! Oh!
_________________________________

Yeah, okay. There you go!
_________________________________

No, no, no!
_________________________________

Good job.
_________________________________

In this time of the season
_________________________________

Every leaf on every tree

_________________________________
Will start to shine

_________________________________
Come and see

_________________________________
Take my hand

_________________________________
Come with me

_________________________________
And fly

_________________________________
(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

Ha!
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

Well, I guess

Pascal's not hiding out here.
_________________________________

(SNIGGERING)
_________________________________

-Gotcha!

-(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(PANTS)
_________________________________

That's 22 for me.

How about 23 out of 45?
_________________________________

Okay. Well, what do you want to do?
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Yeah. I don't think so.

I like it in here, and so do you.
_________________________________

Oh, come on, Pascal.

It's not so bad in there.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Seven a.m., the usual
morning lineup
_________________________________

Start on the chores
And sweep till the floor's all clean
_________________________________

Polish and wax, do laundry
and mop and shine up
_________________________________

Sweep again and by then it's, like, 7:15
_________________________________

And so I'll read a book
Or maybe two or three
_________________________________

I'll add a few new paintings
to my gallery
_________________________________

I'll play guitar and knit
and cook and basically
_________________________________

Just wonder when will my life begin?
_________________________________

Then after lunch it's puzzles
and darts and baking
_________________________________

Papier-mache, a bit of ballet and chess
_________________________________

Pottery and ventriloquy, candle-making
_________________________________

Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch

Take a climb, sew a dress
_________________________________

And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
_________________________________

I'll paint the walls some more

I'm sure there's room somewhere
_________________________________

And then I'll brush and brush
and brush and brush my hair
_________________________________

Stuck in the same place
I've always been
_________________________________

And I'll keep wondering and wondering
and wondering and wondering
_________________________________

When will my life begin?
_________________________________

Tomorrow night
_________________________________

the lights will appear

_________________________________
Just like they do

_________________________________
on my birthday each year

_________________________________
What is it like

_________________________________
out there where they glow

_________________________________
Now that I'm older

_________________________________
Mother might just let me go

_________________________________
(ME AND JULIO DOWN BY
THE SCHOOLYARD PLAYING)
_________________________________
(FILM REEL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
WALTER: That's me, Walter.

_________________________________

Where... Where'd you go?

Oh, there you are!
_________________________________
WALTER: I have the best life

in the whole world.

_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) That's my brother, Gary.
_________________________________

He's the best friend you could ever have.
_________________________________

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.

_________________________________
We could be twins.

_________________________________
Here's where we live, Smalltown...

_________________________________
Whoa, in a couple of days
they come and take me away
_________________________________

But the press let the story leak
_________________________________
WALTER: ...the best town
you could ever grow up in.

_________________________________

And when the radical priest
come to get me
_________________________________

Released we was all
on the cover of Newsweek

_________________________________
WALTER: Gary and I did
everything together.
_________________________________

I don't know where I'm going
_________________________________

-I'm on my way

-(MOANING)
_________________________________

I'm taking my time
but I don't know where

_________________________________
Goodbye to Rosie the queen of Corona

_________________________________
WALTER: And as the years passed,

my brother was always there for me.
_________________________________

-(CHEERING)

-I got it! Gary, throw me! Throw me!
_________________________________

Ah! (GRUNTS)
_________________________________
WALTER: We were a great team.

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-Nice job, Walter.
_________________________________

Thanks, Gary.
_________________________________

(MOANING)
_________________________________
WALTER: Oh, don't get me wrong.

It's not perfect.
_________________________________

-That was so fun!

-WALTER: Nothing is.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-MAN: Sorry, kid.
_________________________________

GIRL: I wanna do that again!
_________________________________

MAN 2: Come on. I'll ride with ya!
_________________________________

BOY: Hurry up!
_________________________________
WALTER: Even the sunniest days

can have a few clouds in them.
_________________________________

Ride's bogus, anyway.

Hey, wanna rent a video?
_________________________________
WALTER: Yeah. Uh, race you home!

_________________________________
WALTER: And, well, that night

sorta changed everything.

_________________________________
It's The Muppet Show, with our very

special guest star, Mr. Steve Martin!

_________________________________
-(APPLAUSE ON TV)

-WALTER: I found them...
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-WALTER: The Muppets.
_________________________________

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(INHALING)
_________________________________
WALTER: I guess you could say

I was their number one fan.

_________________________________

(GASPING) Oh, Gary, it's an entire
map of The Muppet Studios.

_________________________________

-(RATTLING)

-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________
WALTER:
And they made all the difference.

_________________________________

KIDS: Trick or treat!
WALTER: Because from then on...

_________________________________

-Hey, guys.

-Oh, hey, Gary.
_________________________________

-Hey.

-Hi-ho, guys. Yay! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

BOY: Is that Kermit the Frog?

What is this, 1978?
_________________________________
WALTER: ...even on the worst days,
I knew...

_________________________________
-that as the years passed...

-(GASPS)
_________________________________
KERMIT: (ON TV)

Cancel that last remark.
_________________________________
WALTER: ...as long as there are
singing frogs and joking bears...

_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
WALTER: ...Swedish chefs
and boomerang fish,

_________________________________

the world can't be such
a bad place after all.

_________________________________
-Mahna mahna

-Do doo, do doo doo
_________________________________

All right, good night, buddy.
_________________________________

Oh, good night, Gary.
_________________________________
WALTER: And as long as
there are Muppets...

_________________________________

(YAWNING)
_________________________________

WALTER: ...for me...

BUNSEN: ...hair-growing tonic.
_________________________________
WALTER: ...there's still

_________________________________
hope.

_________________________________
-(GASPS)

-Ah! Bye-bye!
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-KERMIT: Somebody get him!
_________________________________

Animal. Hey, Animal, come on.

The show's about to start.

_________________________________
Show! Show! (YELLS)
_________________________________

Hey, Walter, why don't you join us?
_________________________________
GONZO: Come on!

_________________________________

(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

No! Wait! I want to be

with you guys! Please let me in!
_________________________________

Kermit!
_________________________________

-(SCREAMING, GASPING)

-Whoa!
_________________________________

GARY: Walter, are you okay, buddy?
_________________________________

You're drenched in sweat.
_________________________________

Did you have the dream again?
_________________________________

Um... No.
_________________________________
Uh, hey, so, uh, when
are you guys leaving today?

_________________________________

Oh, um, just a couple hours now.
_________________________________

Oh, wow, Gary, I think it is so cool

you're taking Mary to Los Angeles.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) I can't believe you

guys have been dating for 10 years.
_________________________________

I know. Yeah, she wanted to do
something special for this anniversary,
_________________________________

and she's always
wanted to see Los Angeles, so...
_________________________________

Hey, uh, don't forget to send me a
postcard from The Muppet Studios.
_________________________________

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
_________________________________

-I can't do that, Walter.

-But, Gary...
_________________________________

Because... You're coming with us!
_________________________________

(GASPS) Oh, Gary!
_________________________________

-But what about Mary?

-She's fine.
_________________________________

-She said the more the merrier.

-I... I don't know what to say!
_________________________________

The Muppet Studios are there, Gary.
I can't believe this!

_________________________________

Better get a move on.

We don't want to miss that bus!
_________________________________

No way! Who knows?

Maybe Kermit will be there.
_________________________________

I wouldn't get your hopes up, buddy.
_________________________________

The Muppets haven't put
on a show together in years.
_________________________________

I don't think they use the studios

for anything but tours anymore.
_________________________________

Nah, I think that's just an Internet rumor.
_________________________________

Like there's a country called Turkey.
_________________________________

Walter, how many times

do we have to go over this?
_________________________________

-Turkey is a very real country.

-Wow, Muppet Studios.
_________________________________

I can't believe it!
_________________________________
(MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(BRUSHING RHYTHMICALLY)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Everything is great
Everything is grand
_________________________________

I got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hand

_________________________________
Everything is perfect
It's falling into place

_________________________________
I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face

_________________________________
Life's a happy song when there's
someone by my side to sing along

_________________________________
(BRUSHING, SPITTING)
_________________________________

When you're alone
Life can be a little rough
_________________________________

It makes you feel like
you're three foot tall
_________________________________

When it's just you
Well, times can be tough

_________________________________
When there's no one there
to catch your fall
_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Whoa!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Everything is great
Everything is grand

_________________________________
I got the whole wide world
in the palm of my hand

_________________________________
Everything is perfect
It's falling into place

_________________________________
I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face

_________________________________
-Life smells like a rose

-With someone to paint
_________________________________

-And someone to pose

-Life's a piece of cake
_________________________________

-With someone to pedal

-And someone to brake
_________________________________

-Life is full of glee

-With someone to saw

_________________________________
-And someone to see

-Life's a happy song
_________________________________

When there's someone
by my side to sing along
_________________________________

I've got everything that I need
_________________________________

Right in front of me
_________________________________

Nothing's stoppin' me

_________________________________
Nothin' that I can't be

_________________________________
With you right here next to me

_________________________________
-Life's a piece of cake

-With someone to give
_________________________________

-And someone to... Heavy cake!

-Life's a piece of pie
_________________________________

-With someone to wash

-And someone to dry
_________________________________

-Life's an easy road

-With someone beside you
_________________________________

-To share the load

-Life is full of highs
_________________________________

-With someone to stir

-And someone to fry
_________________________________

Life's a leg of lamb
_________________________________

With someone there to lend a hand

_________________________________
Life's a bunch of flowers

_________________________________
With someone to while away the hours

_________________________________
Life's a fillet of fish

_________________________________
Yes, it is
Life's a happy song

_________________________________
When there's someone
by your side to sing along

_________________________________
ALL: Oh...

_________________________________
I've got everything that I need

_________________________________
Right in front of me
Nothing's

_________________________________
Stoppin' me
Nothin' that I can't be

_________________________________
With you right here next to me

_________________________________
I've got everything that I need

_________________________________
-Right in front of me

-(MUSIC STOPS)
_________________________________

Sorry. I was super excited.
_________________________________

All right, Carlos. Flip the ignition.
_________________________________

(ENGINE STARTS)
_________________________________

And that is how you fix a 12-volt starter.
_________________________________

-(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

-Ah. You know what that means.
_________________________________

-Spring break.

-ALL: Aw!
_________________________________

It's okay. We'll be back

to studying in two weeks.
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

-GIRL: Have a nice vacation.

-Bye. Have fun.
_________________________________

-GIRL: Bye, Mr. Gary.

-Have a good break, guys.
_________________________________

-Hey, great job, Carlos.

-Thanks.
_________________________________

Enjoy your anniversary dinner.
_________________________________

-Hi.

-Um, I got you these.
_________________________________

Oh. Sorry. Um...
_________________________________
It's probably from the
dance number I was doing.
_________________________________

It's okay. They're really sweet.
_________________________________

You excited for our big trip to LA?
I have our list.
_________________________________

Me, too. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Oh, this is the most romantic thing ever.
_________________________________

I've always dreamt

of seeing Los Angeles.
_________________________________

I know. Walter can't wait either.
_________________________________

You don't mind that he's coming, right?
_________________________________

Um, no, no, of course not.
_________________________________

As long as we can spend our anniversary
dinner together. That's all I ask.
_________________________________

Totally. It's gonna be the most

romantic anniversary dinner ever.
_________________________________

-I love you so much.

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

-I love you, too.

-I'm gonna go check on Walter.
_________________________________

Everything's great
Everything's grand
_________________________________

Except Gary's always off
with his friend
_________________________________

It's never me and him
It's always me and him and him
_________________________________

I wonder when it's going to end
_________________________________

But I guess that's okay
'Cause maybe someday
_________________________________

I know just how it's going to be
_________________________________

He'll ride up on a steed
Get down on one knee
_________________________________

And say "Mary, will you marry me?"

_________________________________
Please

_________________________________
I've got everything that I need
_________________________________

Right in front of me
_________________________________

Nothing's stoppin' me
_________________________________

Nothin' that I can't be

_________________________________
With you right here next to me
_________________________________

You've got everything that you need

_________________________________
Right in front of you
_________________________________

Nothing's stopping you
_________________________________

Nothing that you can't do
that the world can throw at you
_________________________________

Life's a happy song
_________________________________

When there's someone
by your side to sing

_________________________________
Life's a happy song
_________________________________

When there's someone
by your side to sing
_________________________________

Life's a happy song when there's
someone by your side to sing along
_________________________________

(HORN HONKS)
_________________________________

-MAN: Okay, they're gone!

-(ALL GROAN)
_________________________________

Wow! I could get used

to a view like this.
_________________________________

Rider, come on!
_________________________________

Hold on. Yep. I'm used to it.

Guys, I want a castle.
_________________________________

We do this job,

you can buy your own castle.
_________________________________

(SNEEZES)
_________________________________

-Hay fever?

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Wait! Hey, wait!
_________________________________

Can't you picture me in a castle

of my own? Because I certainly can.
_________________________________

All the things we've seen,

and it's only 8:00 in the morning!
_________________________________

Gentlemen, this is a very big day!
_________________________________

-Morning, Stone.

-Hey, Terence.
_________________________________

Come on, let's go. Flap your wings!
_________________________________

Those fairies on the mainland

won't be able to fly without pixie dust!
_________________________________

Terence, have you delivered

the pixie-dust rations to the scouts yet?
_________________________________

Yep. Finished today's

and half of tomorrow's.
_________________________________

Remember, one cup each.

No more, no less.
_________________________________

I know, Fairy Gary.
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

(BEETLE EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(BUZZING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

Well, that's my cue.

I'll catch you guys later.
_________________________________

And where are you off to?
_________________________________

Just doing some errands and stuff.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

-Errands!

-And stuff!
_________________________________

Why are you guys talking like that?
_________________________________

BOTH: No reason.
_________________________________

-All right.

-Say hi to Tinker Bell, would you?
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(ALL LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Very funny.
_________________________________

All right, you got me.

I'm gonna help Tink again.
_________________________________

-Is it okay if I take this?

-FAIRY GARY: Sure.
_________________________________

Thanks. See you tomorrow.
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: Hammer.

_________________________________

(BIRD CHIRPING)
_________________________________

Thanks. Okay, try it now, Cheese.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Yeah, that's it!

Keep going. Keep going!
_________________________________

Hey, Cheese.

Special delivery for Tinker Bell.
_________________________________

Hi, Terence.
_________________________________

Who's your best friend

that always delivers?
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

-Iridessa?

-Nope. Try again.
_________________________________

-Fawn?

-Me!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.
_________________________________

So, what do you think

of the Pixie Dust Express?
_________________________________

Wow. The guys are gonna love this

back at the depot,
_________________________________

and it sure is going to help out

on the river-outpost deliveries.
_________________________________

Hey, is that a stretchy thingy?
_________________________________

Yeah, I thought you could use it

for your motor.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

I think it's gonna be perfect.
_________________________________

(BOTH GROANING)
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: Clip.

_________________________________

All right, Cheese, ready to launch.
_________________________________

Aah!
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

It floats!
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

Okay. Are you ready

for the official test run?
_________________________________

Don't worry. I'll be right next to you.
_________________________________

-All set?

-Check.
_________________________________

Let her rip.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) Whoa.
_________________________________

And now for hydro-drive.
_________________________________

Sorry.
_________________________________

(BUZZES)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

Oh, no!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

(SPLASH)
_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

-Are you okay?

-Yeah. Thanks.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

I can't believe the boat broke.
_________________________________

I guess your guys

are gonna have to wait a little longer.
_________________________________

I'm impressed.
_________________________________

Usually when one of your inventions

doesn't work out, you overreact,
_________________________________

but I must say,

you're handling this one pretty well.
_________________________________

-I drove it into a tree?

-Never mind.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Jingles!
_________________________________

I made it to help you, Terence.

It should've worked.
_________________________________

Come on.

Look, it just needs a little tinkering.
_________________________________

Let's see.

Who do I know who's a good tinker?
_________________________________

Bobble. Bobble's a good tinker.
_________________________________

Or Fairy Mary,

she's got a lot of experience.
_________________________________

Or... Hey, what about Clank?
_________________________________

(TINKER BELL GIGGLING)
_________________________________

(KAZOO HUMMING)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

-Someone's in trouble.

-Hey, I haven't done anything, lately.
_________________________________

The stinkbug incident?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

Tinker Bell, Queen Clarion awaits.
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: It's all

a big misunderstanding.
_________________________________

I'm sure the queen wants to see me

about something completely unrelated.
_________________________________

(BLOWS KAZOO)
_________________________________

One moment.
_________________________________

Tinker Bell is here.

She's waiting outside, my lady.
_________________________________
QUEEN CLARION: Thank you, Viola.

_________________________________

-Fairy Mary, are you certain?

-Whatever do you mean?
_________________________________

Only that Tinker Bell,

while undoubtedly talented, also...
_________________________________

-Is a hothead? Flies off the handle?

-Well, yes.
_________________________________

I believe she deserves a chance,

Minister.
_________________________________

After all, tinker fairies

learn from their mistakes.
_________________________________

Very well.
_________________________________

Agreed. Tinker Bell!
_________________________________

Fairy Mary tells me she knows...
_________________________________

It's not my fault, Your Highness!

Those stinkbugs were asking for it.
_________________________________

-This isn't about the stinkbugs, is it?

-No.
_________________________________

But we can certainly

come back to that later.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Mary.
_________________________________

You do know the Minister of Autumn.
_________________________________

-My dear.

-Hi.
_________________________________

Are you familiar

with the great autumn revelry?
_________________________________

Well, everyone's talking about it.

They're so excited.
_________________________________

Since time immemorial,
_________________________________

fairies have celebrated

the end of autumn with a revelry,
_________________________________

and this particular autumn

coincides with a blue harvest moon.
_________________________________

A new scepter must be created

to celebrate the occasion.
_________________________________

Behold, the Hall of Scepters.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN AWE)
_________________________________

-They're beautiful.

-Every scepter is unique.
_________________________________

Some are the work of animal fairies,
_________________________________

some of light fairies, or water fairies,

or garden fairies.
_________________________________

This year,

it is the turn of the tinker fairies.
_________________________________

And Fairy Mary has recommended you.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-Me? But I'm... I'm...

-A very talented tinker.
_________________________________

The scepter must be built

to precise dimensions.
_________________________________

At the top, you will place a moonstone.
_________________________________

When the blue moon is at its peak,
_________________________________

its rays will pass through the gem,

creating blue pixie dust.
_________________________________
QUEEN CLARION: The blue pixie dust

restores the Pixie Dust Tree.

_________________________________

Like autumn itself,

it signals rebirth and rejuvenation.
_________________________________

We are relying on you.
_________________________________

This way, dear.
_________________________________

Here is the moonstone.
_________________________________

It has been handed down

from generation to generation.
_________________________________

Be careful. It is ridiculously fragile.
_________________________________

Fairy Mary, I... I don't know what to say.
_________________________________

-Thank you!

-Careful, Tinker Bell! Fragile!
_________________________________

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

-Why are you counting?

-It helps to calm me down.
_________________________________

Got it. Don't worry, Fairy Mary.

I'll make you proud, all of you.
_________________________________

Yahoo!
_________________________________
WALTER: Hey, Gary, what should we
do first at Muppet Studio?

_________________________________

'Cause I was thinking that maybe we

could start at Fozzie's Joke Room, but...
_________________________________

Oh, no, wait, wait, wait.
_________________________________

The lines might be shorter
at Honeydew's Laboratory of Fun,
_________________________________

so maybe we should start there instead.

I just... I just can't wait!
_________________________________

(SIGHS) This is it!

This is a very big day, Pascal.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

I'm finally going to do it.

I'm going to ask her.
_________________________________

-GOTHEL: Rapunzel!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Let down your hair!
_________________________________

It's time!
_________________________________

I know, I know.

Come on. Don't let her see you.
_________________________________

Rapunzel!

I'm not getting any younger down here!
_________________________________

Coming, Mother!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(PANTING) Hi. Welcome home, Mother.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS) Rapunzel,

how you manage to do that
_________________________________

every single day without fail.
_________________________________

It looks absolutely exhausting, darling.
_________________________________

Oh, (CHUCKLES) it's nothing.
_________________________________

Then I don't know why it takes so long.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Oh, darling, I'm just teasing.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

All right.
_________________________________

So, Mother, as you know

tomorrow is a very big day...
_________________________________

Rapunzel, look in that mirror.
_________________________________

You know what I see?
_________________________________

I see a strong, confident,

beautiful young lady.
_________________________________

Oh, look, you're here, too. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

I'm just teasing.

Stop taking everything so seriously.
_________________________________

Okay. So, Mother,

as I was saying, tomorrow is...
_________________________________

Rapunzel,

Mother's feeling a little run-down.
_________________________________

Would you sing for me, dear?

Then we'll talk.
_________________________________

Oh! Of course, Mother.
_________________________________

(QUICKLY) Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
_________________________________

Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

Heal what has been hurt
Change the Fates' design
_________________________________

Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

-Rapunzel!

-So, Mother,
_________________________________

earlier I was saying tomorrow

is a big day, and you didn't respond.
_________________________________

So, I'm just going to tell you,

it's my birthday! (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

-Ta-da!

-No, no, no. Can't be.
_________________________________

I distinctly remember.

Your birthday was last year.
_________________________________

That's the funny thing about birthdays.

They're kind of an annual thing.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Mother, I'm turning 18,

and I wanted to ask...
_________________________________

(SIGHS) What I really want

for this birthday...
_________________________________

Actually what I wanted

for quite a few birthdays now...
_________________________________

Rapunzel, please,

stop with the mumbling.
_________________________________

You know how I feel about

the mumbling. Blah-blah-blah-blah.
_________________________________

It's very annoying!

I'm just teasing. You're adorable.
_________________________________

I love you so much, darling.
_________________________________

(PASCAL SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS) I want to see

the floating lights.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) What?
_________________________________

I was hoping you would take me

to see the floating lights.
_________________________________

Oh! You mean the stars.
_________________________________

That's the thing.
_________________________________

I've charted stars,

and they're always constant.
_________________________________

But these, they appear every year

on my birthday, Mother.
_________________________________

Only on my birthday.
_________________________________

And I can't help but feel like

they're meant for me.
_________________________________

I need to see them, Mother.
_________________________________

And not just from my window, in person.
_________________________________

I have to know what they are.
_________________________________

You want to go outside?

(SCOFFS) Why, Rapunzel...
_________________________________

(SINGING) Look at you,
as fragile as a flower
_________________________________

Still a little sapling, just a sprout

_________________________________
You know why we stay up in this tower

_________________________________
-I know, but...

-That's right.
_________________________________

To keep you safe and sound, dear

_________________________________
Guess I always knew
this day was coming
_________________________________

Knew that soon
you'd want to leave the nest
_________________________________

Soon but not yet

_________________________________
Shh!
Trust me, pet

_________________________________
Mother knows best
_________________________________

(HATCH THUDDING CLOSED)
_________________________________

Mother knows best
Listen to your mother
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

It's a scary world out there
_________________________________

Mother knows best
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

One way or another
Something will go wrong

_________________________________
I swear

_________________________________
Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand

_________________________________
Cannibals and snakes, the plague

_________________________________
-No!

-Yes.
_________________________________

Also large bugs
Men with pointy teeth
_________________________________

And stop! No more, you'll just upset me
_________________________________

Mother's right here
Mother will protect you
_________________________________

Darling, here's what I suggest

_________________________________
Skip the drama
Stay with Mama

_________________________________
Mother knows best
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Mother knows best
Take it from your mumsy

_________________________________
On your own, you won't survive
_________________________________

Sloppy, underdressed
Immature, clumsy
_________________________________

Please, they'll eat you up alive
_________________________________

Gullible, naive
Positively grubby
_________________________________

Ditsy and a bit... Well, hmm, vague
_________________________________

Plus, I believe, getting kind of chubby
_________________________________

I'm just saying 'cause I wuv you
_________________________________

Mother understands
Mother's here to help you
_________________________________

All I have is one request
_________________________________

-Rapunzel?

-Yes?
_________________________________

Don't ever ask to leave this tower again.
_________________________________

Yes, Mother.
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

I love you very much, dear.
_________________________________

I love you more.
_________________________________

I love you most.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Don't forget it
_________________________________

You'll regret it
_________________________________

Mother knows best
_________________________________

Ta-ta! I'll see you in a bit, my flower!
_________________________________

I'll be here.
_________________________________

(CHIRPS)
_________________________________
TERENCE: Tink!

_________________________________

Tink?
_________________________________

Hey!
_________________________________

So?
_________________________________

Terence, you're never

gonna believe this.
_________________________________

Guess what happened! Go on, guess!
_________________________________

Well, I...
_________________________________

I have been picked

to make the new fall scepter!
_________________________________

Me! Me!
_________________________________

Hey, that means they...

They gave you the moonstone?
_________________________________

Yeah! Want to see?
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

Not so close. Don't breathe on it.

It's fragile.
_________________________________

Yeah, I know. I know all about it.
_________________________________

The blue moon only rises

in Pixie Hollow every eight years.
_________________________________

The trajectory of the light beam's gotta

match the curvature of the moonstone
_________________________________

at a 90-degree angle
_________________________________

so the light can transmute

into pixie dust.
_________________________________

Wow, Terence!

Now, how'd you know all that?
_________________________________

Well, you know, every dust-keeper's

gotta study dustology.
_________________________________

Hey! You know what this calls for?
_________________________________

-Two cups of...

-Chamomile tea.
_________________________________

-With extra honey and...

-And some milkweed whip.
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Hey, by the way, that new

bucket-and-pulley system you made?
_________________________________

Fairy Gary loves it.
_________________________________

-He's so cute.

-If you say so.
_________________________________

You know what? Maybe I can help you.

You know, I'm kind of an expert on this.
_________________________________

I can collect the supplies

and give you advice.
_________________________________

-You will? That's... That's so sweet.

-Hey, what are friends for?
_________________________________

So, what do you say?

Can I be your wingman?
_________________________________

That would be great.
_________________________________

-The best dust-keeper fairy.

-And the best tinker!
_________________________________

This is gonna be

a revelry to remember.
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

No, no, no, no, no.

This is bad. This is very, very bad.
_________________________________

This is really bad.
_________________________________

They just can't get my nose right.
_________________________________

Who cares?
_________________________________

It's easy for you to say.

You guys look amazing.
_________________________________

(HORSES NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

All right. Okay.

Give me a boost and I'll pull you up.
_________________________________

Give us the satchel first.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

I just...
_________________________________

I can't believe that after all we've been

through together, you don't trust me?
_________________________________

Ouch.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Now help us up, pretty boy!
_________________________________

Sorry, my hands are full.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Rider!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Retrieve that satchel at any cost!
_________________________________

SOLDIERS: Yes, sir!
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

We got him now, Maximus.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(URGES HORSE)
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Come on, fleabag! Forward!
_________________________________

No. No!
_________________________________

Stop it! Stop it!

Give it to me! Give me that!
_________________________________

Ha!
_________________________________

(CRACKING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING IN ALARM)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMS)

-(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(SPITS)
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(MAXIMUS NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(NICKERS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

Alone at last.
_________________________________

(CLANGING)
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

Huh.
_________________________________

(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________

-Huh?

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CLANGING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING CONTENTEDLY)
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Okay, okay, okay.

I've got a person in my closet.
_________________________________

I've got a person in my closet.
_________________________________

(ENUNCIATING)

I've got a person in my closet!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Too weak to handle myself out there,

huh, Mother?
_________________________________

Well, tell that to my frying pan.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

(POLICE SIREN WAILS)
_________________________________

Oh, Walter, don't be nervous.
_________________________________

Oh, I know. I just can't believe I'm here.
_________________________________

The home of the Muppets!
_________________________________

(WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE)
_________________________________

What... What happened to this place?
_________________________________

Wh... Where is everyone, Gary?
_________________________________

I don't know, buddy. It's so... Oh...
_________________________________

Oh. Okay, well, I guess

you guys are it for today.
_________________________________

Ahem. Anyway, welcome to

the original Muppet Studio,
_________________________________

where dreams can come true.
_________________________________

-(COUGHS)

-(SPEAKING CHINESE)
_________________________________

-Is this the Universal Studios?

-Yes, it is.
_________________________________

Okay, now if you'll just

follow me, please.
_________________________________

Okay. This used to be Kermit's office.
_________________________________

-Whoa.

-Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________

It's really the highlight of the tour.
_________________________________

You should see it sometime.
_________________________________

Okay, this next building is

where they kept the rope
_________________________________

and the medium-gauge wire for

the productions. Let's go take a look.
_________________________________
GARY: Come on, buddy.

_________________________________
TERENCE: Knock-knock.

_________________________________

(YAWNS)
_________________________________

-Morning.

-Hi.
_________________________________

All right, we have one full moon

until the autumn revelry. Here we go.
_________________________________

Hey, Tink!

I brought you some stuff from work.
_________________________________

Whoa.
_________________________________

Wow, Terence, how did you...
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

I love this thing!
_________________________________

I can tell you're gonna be a big help.
_________________________________
TERENCE: Looks good.

_________________________________

Now, remember,

you get the most blue pixie dust
_________________________________

if you maximize the moonstone's

exposed surface area.
_________________________________

Right. Got it.
_________________________________
TERENCE: Knock-knickity-knock!

_________________________________

(YAWNS)
_________________________________

Out of bed, sleepyhead.
_________________________________

You gotta keep the fire nice and hot.
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

(SCRAPING)
_________________________________

(TERENCE WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Excuse me, Tink.
_________________________________

Yeah, you know, you should

really keep that workspace clean.
_________________________________

Okay, let me just...

Let me get that one right there.
_________________________________

Just one more. Thank you.
_________________________________

-Whoa!

-One, two, three...
_________________________________

-Why are you counting?

-...four...
_________________________________
TERENCE: Knickity-knickity-knock!

Knickity-knock!
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Watch your angle there.
_________________________________

(CONTINUES WHISTLING)
_________________________________
TERENCE: (SOFTLY) Knock-knock!

Who's there?

_________________________________

Knock. Knock who?

Knock-knock-knickity-knock!
_________________________________

Knickity-knock.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(GLASS SHATTERING)
_________________________________

Steady.
_________________________________

You gotta be easy.

This is the tricky part.
_________________________________

I know.
_________________________________

All right, now we gotta match

the trajectory of the light beam
_________________________________

-with the...

-Got it. Thanks.
_________________________________

-With the...

-Okay. Yeah, I know.
_________________________________

-With the...

-Shh!
_________________________________

-The curvature of the moonstone.

-Will you please...
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Tink, it looks like you need

some sort of, you know, sharp thingy.
_________________________________

That's exactly what I need.
_________________________________

Could you go out

and find me something sharp?
_________________________________

You got it. I'll be right back.
_________________________________

Take your time.
_________________________________

(WHISPERS) Wow!
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, boy.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-(RATTLING)
_________________________________

There. Now this here is

Kermit the Frog's old office.
_________________________________

-Or so we've been "toad."

-(BOTH LAUGH)
_________________________________

Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've
loved the Muppets since I was a boy.

_________________________________

ALL: Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________

TEX: And what better way

to honor the Muppets
_________________________________

than to make this beautiful

studio a Muppet museum.
_________________________________

-ALL: Mmm-hmm.

-I think I'll call this room
_________________________________

the "Kermit the Frog's

Old Office Room."
_________________________________

-Oh, that is lovely.

-Oh, good one, Mr. Richman.
_________________________________

Now, this here is the standard

"Rich and Famous" contract
_________________________________

Kermit signed 30 years ago,

that contains...
_________________________________

-The deed to this property.

-Exactly.
_________________________________

Now, this contract is 100 percent

ironclad, with one minor exception.
_________________________________

If the Muppets can raise the
ten million dollars it would cost
_________________________________

to buy the building before this contract
expires, then they get their studio back.

_________________________________
You know, if I didn't know better,
_________________________________

I'd say you were reciting some

sort of an important plot point.
_________________________________

Well, I hope so. Otherwise,

I just bored the audience half to death.
_________________________________

You mean half the audience is still alive?
_________________________________

-(BOTH LAUGH)

-It's nice doing business with you.
_________________________________

-Yes, sir. Come on.

-Goodbye.
_________________________________

Love geriatric humor.
_________________________________

Gentlemen, there's oil under this studio.
_________________________________

(SNIFFS) Yeah, I can smell it.
_________________________________

And more importantly, the geological

survey says there definitely is.
_________________________________

-Oh.

-In two weeks,
_________________________________

we tear this place to the ground
_________________________________

and start drilling. Ah, those Muppets.
_________________________________

They think they're so funny.
_________________________________

Well, it looks like
the joke's about to be on them.
_________________________________

-Maniacal laugh.

-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

-Maniacal laugh.

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh.
_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Maniacal laugh.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
GARY: Walter!
MARY: Walter?

_________________________________
GARY: Walter!
MARY: Walter!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Yeah, so then, when he thought
they were alone, he said,

_________________________________

"There's oil under this studio, see.
_________________________________

I'm gonna tear it to the ground, see.
_________________________________

-Sweet, sweet oil, see!"

-People still talk like that?
_________________________________

Maybe that's just how

he sounded in my head.
_________________________________

Either way, we've got to find Kermit!

He'll know what to do.
_________________________________

How do we find Kermit?

Nobody's seen him in years.
_________________________________
WALTER: (GASPS) Stop the car!

I've got an idea!
_________________________________

ALL: Mmm!
_________________________________

-These are delicious!

-Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________

-Great idea, Walter.

-Mmm-hmm.

_________________________________

-GOTHEL: Rapunzel!

-(GASPS) Oh!
_________________________________

Let down your hair!
_________________________________

One moment, Mother!
_________________________________

I have a big surprise!
_________________________________

Uh... I do, too!
_________________________________

Ooh, I bet my surprise is bigger!
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) I seriously doubt it.
_________________________________

I brought back parsnips. I'm going

to make hazelnut soup for dinner.
_________________________________

Your favorite. Surprise!
_________________________________

Well, Mother,

there's something I want to tell you.
_________________________________

Oh, Rapunzel, you know I hate

leaving you after a fight.
_________________________________

Especially when I've done

absolutely nothing wrong.
_________________________________

I've been thinking a lot

about what you said earlier.
_________________________________

I hope you're not still talking

about the stars.
_________________________________

"Floating lights,"

and, yes, I'm leading up to that.
_________________________________

Because I really thought

we dropped the issue, sweetheart.
_________________________________

No, Mother, I'm just saying,
_________________________________

you think I'm not strong enough

to handle myself out there.
_________________________________

Oh, I know you're not strong enough

to handle yourself out there.
_________________________________

-But if you just...

-We're done talking about this.
_________________________________

-Trust me! I know what I'm...

-Rapunzel.
_________________________________

-Oh, come on!

-Enough with the lights!
_________________________________

You are not leaving this tower! Ever!
_________________________________

(GROANS) Great. Now I'm the bad guy.
_________________________________

All I was going to say, Mother, is that...
_________________________________

I know what I want for my birthday now.
_________________________________

And what is that?
_________________________________

New paint.
_________________________________

The paint made from the white shells

you once brought me.
_________________________________

That is a very long trip, Rapunzel.

Almost three days' time.
_________________________________

I just thought it was a better idea

than the stars.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

You'll be all right on your own?
_________________________________

I know I'm safe as long as I'm here.
_________________________________
GOTHEL: I'll be back

in three days' time.
_________________________________

I love you very much, dear.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: I love you more.

_________________________________
GOTHEL: I love you most.

_________________________________

(CLANK HUMMING)
_________________________________

Clank, what is that?
_________________________________

This is a fireworks launcher.

Allow me to demonstrate.
_________________________________

Iridessa and Rosetta will mix

light crystals with flower pigment.
_________________________________

The mixture will go into the launcher,

like so.
_________________________________

Then I tighten the spring, like so.
_________________________________

-Oh, dear. Clank...

-Then you throw the trigger...
_________________________________

-Yes, Clank...

-...and the fireworks shoot into the air!
_________________________________

-Clank!

-Like so!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Clanky, that's brilliant!
_________________________________

Hey, Bobble. Listen, do you know

where I can find a sharp thingy?
_________________________________

-A sharp thingy?

-How about a stick?
_________________________________

-No, a sharp thingy-majigy.

-A stick can be pretty sharp!
_________________________________

No, I need something sharper

to help Tink.
_________________________________
CLANK: For Tink!

_________________________________

-Clank, don't sneak up on me like that.

-Did you try the cove?
_________________________________

Of course! That's where

all the lost things wash up.
_________________________________

-Thanks, Bobble. Thanks, Clank.

-Our pleasure. So long, Terence!
_________________________________

I'm getting a little dizzy.
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

(BLOWS)
_________________________________

Perfect.
_________________________________

And now for the finishing touch,

a spattering of silver shavings.
_________________________________

Steady. I can't wait till she sees this.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

There. Perfect.
_________________________________

-Finally.

-TERENCE: Hey, Tink! I'm back!
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

-What is this?

-It's your sharp thingy.
_________________________________

My... That's not...
_________________________________

One, two, three, four...
_________________________________

Terence, this is not sharp.

This is round.
_________________________________

It is, in fact, the exact opposite of sharp.
_________________________________

-Really, look, if you look inside, it's...

-I need to work, okay?
_________________________________

Now, would you please

get this thing out of here?
_________________________________

My scepter!
_________________________________

Tink, I'm so sorry. I...
_________________________________

-Out, Terence! Just go!

-What?
_________________________________

You brought this stupid thing here.

You broke the scepter.
_________________________________

-This is your fault!

-Tink, I...
_________________________________

-I was just trying to be a good friend. I...

-Go away! Just leave me alone!
_________________________________

Fine! Last time I try to help you.
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
_________________________________

No.
_________________________________

Kept her workspace clean,

brought her food, stoked the fire!
_________________________________

"Find a sharp thingy."

Searched high and low,
_________________________________

and she didn't even say thank you!
_________________________________

(CROAKING)
_________________________________

Whoa.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

I know some rock fairies

that are gonna be pretty upset.
_________________________________

What? There are no rock fairies.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

You never know. There might be.
_________________________________

Are you okay?
_________________________________

Yeah, I'm great! Why do you ask?
_________________________________

I'm... No. I'm sorry.

I... I had a fight with Tink.
_________________________________

What happened?
_________________________________

There was just an accident,

and she just... She just exploded. I...
_________________________________

She exploded?
_________________________________

No, no, I don't mean like that.
_________________________________

I mean, she just yelled at me,

you know? And...
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Did she turn red?
_________________________________

Well, of course she turned red!

It's Tink!
_________________________________

Just give her a chance to cool off.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Yeah, you're probably right.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

-CLANK: Hello, Tink!

-Clank! Bobble!
_________________________________

Came to see if you wanted to join us

for fairytale theater.
_________________________________
BOBBLE: We figure you could use

a real break.
_________________________________

Break? Nothing's broken!

What do you mean?
_________________________________

What do you know?
_________________________________

Sorry, fellas. Busy.
_________________________________

You know, the revelry,

fall scepter, whatnot.
_________________________________

I can't wait to see that scepter!
_________________________________

-Try.

-Is it as beautiful as I imagine?
_________________________________

Uh...
_________________________________

-No.

-Terence told us it's amazing.
_________________________________

We're so proud of you.
_________________________________

-Look, guys, I really don't have time.

-Well, not to worry, Tink.
_________________________________

We'll tell Fairy Mary

you couldn't make it.
_________________________________

-Fairy Mary?

-Well, sure!
_________________________________

You know her.

She never misses fairytale theater.
_________________________________

Bye-bye!
_________________________________

Clank! Bobble! Wait for me!
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Fairy Mary, I...
_________________________________

Tinker Bell!

I wasn't expecting to see you tonight.
_________________________________

Have you finished the scepter?
_________________________________

Well, not exactly.
_________________________________

I... I was wondering...

I mean, I have to ask you...
_________________________________

Yes?
_________________________________

It's about the moonstone.
_________________________________

What happened to it? You didn't lose it.

Tell me you didn't lose it!
_________________________________

-I didn't lose it.

-Good.
_________________________________

But I was thinking, if using one

moonstone creates blue pixie dust,
_________________________________

using two would create even more.
_________________________________

Do you have another moonstone?
_________________________________

That moonstone is the only one found

in the last 100 years.
_________________________________

And thank goodness we found it.
_________________________________

Without the blue dust,

the Pixie Dust Tree would grow weak,
_________________________________

and things would be pretty tough

around here, believe you me.
_________________________________

(THUD)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Are you okay? You look sort of pale.
_________________________________

-Wait. I know what's going on.

-You do?
_________________________________

You've been working too hard.

What you need is a little theater.
_________________________________

Knowing you, you'd probably redo

the whole scepter if you could.
_________________________________

-Is that an option?

-(CHUCKLING) Tinker Bell!
_________________________________

(CHIME TINKLING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING SOFT MUSIC)
_________________________________

How exciting!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Hush, fairies! Hush, fairies!

_________________________________

'Tis the moment for ancient fairy lore

_________________________________

Tinker Bell, do you mind?
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

Sorry. Skunk training.
_________________________________

Hush, fairies! Hush!

_________________________________
For a fairytale of yore!

_________________________________
'Twas a distant fall
_________________________________

when a pirate ship

arrived in Neverland.
_________________________________

The dreaded pirates swarmed ashore,
_________________________________

seeking the greatest

and most elusive prize of all.
_________________________________

A fairy.
_________________________________

Pirates give me the willies!
_________________________________

Far and wide, the pirates searched

until they found a fairy.
_________________________________

They chased her, captured her
_________________________________

and forced her to lead them

to the most magical treasure,
_________________________________

the enchanted Mirror of Incanta.
_________________________________

Forged by fairy magic in ages past,
_________________________________

the mirror had the power

to grant three wishes,
_________________________________

anything precious to your heart.
_________________________________

-Fairy Mary, is this true?

-Every word.
_________________________________

The pirates used two wishes,
_________________________________

but before they could use

the third wish,
_________________________________

the ship was wrecked

on an island north of Neverland.
_________________________________

The Mirror of Incanta,

with its last remaining wish,
_________________________________

was lost forever.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Yet it is said that the clues to find it

are hidden in this ancient chant.
_________________________________

"Journey due north past Neverland
_________________________________

"Till a faraway island is close at hand
_________________________________

(SINGING) "When you're alone
But not alone
_________________________________

"You will find help
And an arch of stone"
_________________________________

Arch of stone.
_________________________________

"There's one way across

the isle's north ridge
_________________________________

"But a price must be paid

at the old troll bridge"
_________________________________

What did she say?
_________________________________

I think she said something

about a toll bridge.
_________________________________

-Toll bridge?

-Yeah.
_________________________________

-But I don't know how much it costs.

-Oh?
_________________________________

"At journey's end

You shall walk the plank
_________________________________

"Of the ship that sunk

But never sank"
_________________________________

(SINGING) "And in the hold
Amidst gems and gold
_________________________________

"A wish come true
Awaits, we're told

_________________________________
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
_________________________________

"But beware and be warned
There's a trick to this clue

_________________________________
"Wish only goodwill
Or no good will come you

_________________________________
"For the treasure you seek

_________________________________
"You may yet come to rue!"

_________________________________
AUDIENCE: Bravo! Bravo!
_________________________________

Bravo! Bravo!
_________________________________

"Faraway island is close at hand
_________________________________

"Due north past Neverland"
_________________________________

Let's see. Mouse cheese.
_________________________________

Um...
_________________________________

Pan. Chart.
_________________________________

Extra clothes.
_________________________________

This one's not for traveling.
_________________________________

How am I gonna carry all this?
_________________________________

Not enough.
_________________________________

-There you go. One cup, dear.

-Thank you.
_________________________________

Fairy Gary. Hi.
_________________________________

Hello, Tink. What brings you here?
_________________________________

I see that bucket-and-pulley system

l rigged for you is working out.
_________________________________

You know, Fairy Gary,

you really run a tight ship.
_________________________________

I know it sounds like I'm just saying it,

but you really do. Really.
_________________________________

That's very sweet, dear.
_________________________________

Anyway, I was wondering,

can I have some extra pixie dust?
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Pardon?
_________________________________

Come on, Fairy Gary. Please?

Just a smidge?
_________________________________

Now, Tinker Bell, you know the rules,
_________________________________

and it says here

you already got your ration.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Iridessa! Rosetta!
_________________________________

-What do you think?

-Lend you some of our dust?
_________________________________

Tinker Bell,

we need every bit of it on the mainland.
_________________________________

Sweetie, it takes a lot of flying

to bring in autumn.
_________________________________

Sorry, Tink.
_________________________________

Say, you know who can help.
_________________________________

Raffaela, Renato, Redina, Rina...
_________________________________

-Hi, Cheese!

-Hey, Terence!
_________________________________

Morning, Fawn!
_________________________________

-Rina, Rhoda, Rosetta...

-Terence.
_________________________________

-Tink?

-Hi.
_________________________________

Surprised to see you.

How's the scepter?
_________________________________

I'm working on it.
_________________________________

Look, Terence, things happened,

mistakes were made,
_________________________________

and now there's something

I need to talk to you about.
_________________________________

I need some extra pixie dust.
_________________________________

You need more pixie dust?

That's why you're here?
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

It's not exactly what I was expecting.

Why do you need more dust?
_________________________________

I... I can't tell you.
_________________________________

You can't tell me?
_________________________________

You need more pixie dust,

and you can't tell me why?
_________________________________

A true friend

wouldn't need to know why.
_________________________________

A true friend wouldn't ask me

to break the rules!
_________________________________

Well, then,

I guess we're not true friends!
_________________________________

No, I...
_________________________________

I guess we're not.
_________________________________

I'm on my own, then.
_________________________________

(CRYING)

_________________________________

(BREATHES DEEPLY)
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

Huh.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Huh? What...
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
FLYNN: Is this hair?

_________________________________

Struggling... Struggling is pointless.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL CLAMBERING DOWN)
_________________________________

I know why you're here,

and I'm not afraid of you.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Who are you?

And how did you find me?
_________________________________

(STAMMERING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

(ENUNCIATING) Who are you,

and how did you find me?
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

I know not who you are,

nor how I came to find you.
_________________________________

But may I just say...
_________________________________

Hi.
_________________________________

How you doing?

The name's Flynn Rider.
_________________________________

How's your day going? Huh?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS IN CONFUSION)
_________________________________

Who else knows my location,

Flynn Rider?
_________________________________

-All right, blondie.

-Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Gesundheit. Here's the deal.
_________________________________

I was in a situation,

gallivanting through the forest.
_________________________________

I came across your tower and...
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, no.
_________________________________

Where is my satchel?
_________________________________

I've hidden it.

Somewhere you'll never find it.
_________________________________

It's in that pot, isn't it?
_________________________________

(CLANGING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS) Would you stop that?
_________________________________

Now it's hidden

where you'll never find it.
_________________________________

So, what do you want with my hair?

To cut it?
_________________________________

-What?

-Sell it?
_________________________________

No! Listen, the only thing

I want to do with your hair
_________________________________

is to get out of it, literally.
_________________________________

You...
_________________________________

Wait. You don't want my hair?
_________________________________

Why on earth would I want your hair?
_________________________________

Look, I was being chased,

I saw a tower, I climbed it.
_________________________________

End of story.
_________________________________

(STAMMERING) You're telling the truth?
_________________________________

Yes!
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(WHISPERING) I know.

I need someone to take me.
_________________________________

-(SQUEAKING)

-I think he's telling the truth, too.
_________________________________

He doesn't have fangs.

But what choice do I have?
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Okay, Flynn Rider,

I'm prepared to offer you a deal.
_________________________________

-Deal?

-Look this way.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Do you know what these are?
_________________________________

You mean the lantern thing

they do for the princess?
_________________________________

Lanterns? I knew they weren't stars.
_________________________________

Well, tomorrow evening,
_________________________________

they will light the night sky

with these lanterns.
_________________________________

You will act as my guide,

take me to these lanterns,
_________________________________

and return me home safely.
_________________________________

Then, and only then,

will I return your satchel to you.
_________________________________

That is my deal.
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

No can do.
_________________________________

Unfortunately the kingdom and I

aren't exactly simpatico at the moment,
_________________________________

so I won't be taking you anywhere.
_________________________________

Something brought you here,

Flynn Rider.
_________________________________

Call it what you will,
_________________________________

-fate, destiny...

-A horse.
_________________________________

So I have made the decision

to trust you.
_________________________________

A horrible decision, really.
_________________________________

But trust me when I tell you this.
_________________________________

You can tear this tower apart

brick by brick,
_________________________________

but without my help, you will never find

your precious satchel.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Let me get this straight.
_________________________________

I take you to see the lanterns,

bring you back home,
_________________________________

and you'll give me back my satchel?
_________________________________

I promise.
_________________________________

And when I promise something,

I never, ever break that promise.
_________________________________

-Ever.

-(SQUEAKS IN AGREEMENT)
_________________________________

All right, listen.

I didn't want to have to do this,
_________________________________

but you leave me no choice.
_________________________________

Here comes the smolder.
_________________________________

This is kind of an off day for me.

This doesn't normally happen.
_________________________________

Fine! I'll take you to see the lanterns.
_________________________________

Really?
_________________________________

Oops.
_________________________________

(GASPING) You broke my smolder.
_________________________________

(CAWING)
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

So long, Pixie Hollow. I'll be back soon.
_________________________________
GARY: We've been doing this

for a long time.
_________________________________

I think maybe we should call it a night.
_________________________________

-MARY: Guys!

-We can't give up, Gary.
_________________________________

I know, but it's getting really late.
_________________________________

Maybe we should just

go back to the motel.
_________________________________

-Guys!

-It...
_________________________________

-What?

-What?
_________________________________

-Maybe he lives there.

-Oh. That's it.
_________________________________

So, what do we do now?
_________________________________

I don't see a doorbell.

And the house looks empty.
_________________________________

-Gary, throw me over.

-What?
_________________________________

-Gary, just throw me over already!

-Okay.
_________________________________

-Okay, here we go. Okay...

-One, two, three.
_________________________________

-(CRACKING)

-That's good.
_________________________________

-(CRACKING)

-GARY: Sorry!
_________________________________

-WALTER: No, it's good.

-Guys?
_________________________________

I think that's an electric fence.
_________________________________

Mary, it's Kermit the Frog.
_________________________________

GARY: Okay, buddy, head down. One,
_________________________________
two, three!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-It's an electric fence.

-Yep.
_________________________________

Oh, my gosh. Walter? Walter, buddy?

Walter, can you hear me?
_________________________________

-(WHISPERS) Throw me again.

-No, I don't...
_________________________________

I don't think that's a good idea.
_________________________________

What kind of throw was that?
_________________________________

Guys, I think there's somebody coming.
_________________________________
KERMIT: Excuse me.

_________________________________

(CHOIR SINGS)
_________________________________

You okay? That was quite a tumble.
_________________________________

Oh, oh, oh. Look, look. I think...
_________________________________

Hey. Hey, Walter?
_________________________________
Walter, you all right, buddy?
_________________________________

Where am I?
_________________________________

Okay, this is awesome.

We're at Kermit's house.
_________________________________

-Oh, jeez. Walter.

-MARY: No, no, no, no, no. You okay?
_________________________________

Uh... This... This is Kermit's house?
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-Anyhow, how can I help you guys?
_________________________________

Let me just say, this is an honor

for all of us to meet you, sir, um,
_________________________________

but my brother Walter has some

really disturbing news for you.
_________________________________

-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

-Not now, '80s Robot.
_________________________________

Might I offer you a drink? Tab?
_________________________________

-KERMIT: Good grief.

-New Coke?
_________________________________

Listen. Not right now,
'80s Robot, please!
_________________________________

Bummer. Oh.
_________________________________

-KERMIT: Watch out for the...

-Gag me with a spoon.
_________________________________
-Yeah, head for the door.

-Grody to the max. Ow.
_________________________________

Ow.
_________________________________

-I'm really sorry about that...

-Ow.
_________________________________

...Walter. Uh, what were you saying?
_________________________________

Uh, yes.
_________________________________
-Tex Richman, the oil baron, is...

-Yes, yes, yes.
_________________________________

Oil baron Tex Richman,

the wealthy philanthropist.
_________________________________

You know, he's about to buy

our old Muppet Show theater
_________________________________

and turn it into a Muppet museum.

Isn't that great?
_________________________________

-No! I mean...

-I think what Walter's trying to tell you
_________________________________

is that Tex Richman has a secret plan

to tear down the theater and drill for oil.
_________________________________

-What?

-The only way to save the studio
_________________________________

is to raise ten million dollars.
_________________________________

Ten million dollars? That's impossible.
_________________________________

-But...

-The only way to raise
_________________________________

that kind of money would be to...
_________________________________

Would be to put on a show.
_________________________________

And I haven't seen the old gang
_________________________________

in a long, long time.
_________________________________

I guess people sort of forgot about us.
_________________________________

Huh? Uh...
_________________________________

(SINGING)
Is there more I could've said?
_________________________________

Now they're only pictures in my head
_________________________________

That's why my green is feeling gray
_________________________________

Sometimes even frogs have rainy days
_________________________________

Remember when the stage caved in
while you were rocking out?
_________________________________

Who'd have thought your smorgasbord
would be hard to live without?
_________________________________

If we could do it all again
_________________________________

Just another chance to entertain
_________________________________

Would anybody watch or even care?
_________________________________

Or did something break
we can't repair?
_________________________________

Your cannonball trajectory
It always gave me hope

_________________________________
They may have been unbearable,
but I still loved your jokes
_________________________________

Is there more I could've said?
_________________________________

Now they're only pictures in my head

_________________________________
I didn't do it. I've been framed!

Ah! Wocka wocka!
_________________________________

Gonzo the Great

will ride this baby again!
_________________________________

(GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

This legato tune is posolutely,
_________________________________

most transparently bringing me down.
_________________________________

-For sure.

-One, two, and a half...
_________________________________

ALL: (SINGING) Can we do it all again?

_________________________________
Make 'em laugh like we did then

_________________________________
-(IN GIBBERISH)

-(CHICKEN CLUCKS)
_________________________________

We can harmonize for one more song

_________________________________
But I'm standing here instead

_________________________________
Now they're only pictures in my head

_________________________________
Well, it sounds like you guys aren't

getting back together anytime soon.
_________________________________

Mmm-mmm.
_________________________________

This is going to be a really short movie.
_________________________________

But, Kermit, you have to try.
_________________________________

I... The Muppets are amazing.
_________________________________

You give people the greatest gift

that can ever be given.
_________________________________

-Children?

-No, uh, the other gift.
_________________________________

-Ice cream?

-No, no. Uh, after that.
_________________________________

-Um, laughter?

-Yes!
_________________________________

The third greatest gift ever!
_________________________________

Kermit, your fans never left you.

The world hasn't forgotten.
_________________________________

All you need to do is show 'em again!
_________________________________

Hmm. (CLEARS THROAT)

I don't think so, guys.
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Don't you see, Kermit?
_________________________________

It's time to play the music.
_________________________________

(SINGING) It's time to light the lights
_________________________________

It's time to meet the Muppets...
_________________________________

(PLAYS PIANO)
_________________________________

Please, Kermit.
_________________________________

You're my hero.
_________________________________

You're on my watch.
_________________________________

Well, I, uh...
_________________________________
I guess
_________________________________

we could try.
_________________________________

-We?

-Well, yeah, listen.
_________________________________

If I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna need some moral support.
_________________________________

Well, that's perfect.

We're experts at moral support.
_________________________________

-Yeah!

-Good. I guess if we're gonna go,
_________________________________

we better get going.

We got a lot of people to find.
_________________________________

Oh, great! But wait, how do we find 'em?
_________________________________

Didn't you see our first movie?
_________________________________

We drive.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Are you coming, blondie?
_________________________________

(SINGING) Look at the world so close
And I'm halfway to it
_________________________________

Look at it all so big
Do I even dare
_________________________________

Look at me, there at last
I just have to do it

_________________________________
Should I? No

Here I go

_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Just smell the grass, the dirt

Just like I dreamed they'd be
_________________________________

Just feel that summer breeze

The way it's calling me
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

For, like, the first time ever
I'm completely free

_________________________________
I could go running and racing
_________________________________

And dancing and chasing

_________________________________
And leaping and bounding
Hair flying, heart pounding

_________________________________
And splashing and reeling
and finally feeling

_________________________________
That's when my life begins

_________________________________
I can't believe I did this!
_________________________________

(GASPS) I can't believe I did this.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) I can't believe I did this!
_________________________________

Mother would be so furious.
_________________________________

But that's okay. What she doesn't know

won't kill her, right?
_________________________________

(CRYING) Oh, my gosh!

This would kill her.
_________________________________

This is so fun!
_________________________________

I am a horrible daughter.

I'm going back.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) I am never going back!
_________________________________

I am a despicable human being!
_________________________________

(WHOOPING)
_________________________________

Best day ever!
_________________________________

I just need to angle the moon

with the horizon.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

I'm starving.
_________________________________

My boysenberry rolls!
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(BURPS)
_________________________________

My mouse cheese!

My pumpernickel muffin!
_________________________________

Out. Out. Shoo. Go find your friends.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Stop following me.
_________________________________

I'm on a very important mission.
_________________________________

I have two days to find the magic mirror

and wish the moonstone back.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

No, I don't need any help.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Yes, I am sure. Okay. Now, let's see.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Hey, look! Look, little guy. Fetch!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Will you please get out of here?
_________________________________

That does it. Out!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

All right. You can stay.
_________________________________

For now. Just do me a favor,

if you could stay right here.
_________________________________

If my bearings are accurate,

we should see land soon.
_________________________________

I'm Tinker Bell. What's your name?
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Okay. Blinky?
_________________________________

Flicker? Flash? Beam? Flare?
_________________________________

Well, how in the blazing bellows

am I supposed to guess your name
_________________________________

if you keep...
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Your name's Bellows?
_________________________________

Oh, Blaze.
_________________________________

Kind of a tough-guy name.

You a tough guy?
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Okay. Don't hurt yourself.
_________________________________
(CARS PLAYING)
_________________________________

-So where do we go first?

-I shall take the liberty
_________________________________

of using my modem
to locate the Muppets.
_________________________________

-(DIAL TONE, DIALING)

-Okay.
_________________________________

-(LOUD STATIC)

-Oh, stop it!
_________________________________

In the name of all
that's sacred, let it end!
_________________________________

R-E-N-O. That spells "Reno."
_________________________________

You have reached your destination.

My guidance ends here.
_________________________________
KERMIT: Well, I guess this is the place.

_________________________________
FOZZIE: Good evening, folks,

and welcome to Pechoolo Casino!
_________________________________

(SINGING)
Why are there such great deals

_________________________________
On our hotel rooms?
_________________________________

Free parking for cars
_________________________________

-Not RVs

-Not RVs
_________________________________

Our wedding chapel is 24 hours
_________________________________
-No marriage certificate is needed

-No marriage certificate is needed

_________________________________
We're glad you found it
_________________________________

Pechoolo Casino
_________________________________

The owners, the Moopets and me

_________________________________
Cha-cha-cha!
_________________________________

Thank you, thank you.
_________________________________

We'll be back in six minutes.
_________________________________

Mmm.
_________________________________

-Hi-ho, Fozzie.

-Hi-ho, Kermit.
_________________________________

Kermit? (STUTTERING)

What are you doing here?
_________________________________

Uh, well, I... I just want to tell you
that was a great, uh, show.

_________________________________

Uh, it was, uh, uh... Very informative.
_________________________________

I do my best to keep it fresh each night.
_________________________________

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, I'm Fozzie, by the way.
_________________________________

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, this is Gary and Mary.
_________________________________

And this here is Walter.

Uh, he's a personal friend.
_________________________________

-Yeah.

-So I said, "What are you looking at?"
_________________________________

-So I punched him in the face! I mean...

-(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________

-Let's talk in my dressing room.

-Uh, sure.
_________________________________

Here we are.
_________________________________

Make yourselves at home.
_________________________________

-(DOG BARKING)

-Wow.
_________________________________

Huh. This is, uh, not

quite what I expected,
_________________________________

-based on your Christmas cards.

-Oh, yeah. Uh, about that...
_________________________________

Oh, oh, but it's nice. And... And airy.
_________________________________

Maybe we should
give them some space.
_________________________________

I know, but I just wanna hear

what they're gonna say. Okay.

_________________________________

Fozzie, an evil oil baron wants to

tear down our old Muppet studio.
_________________________________

-What? Oh, no!

-(GUNSHOTS)
_________________________________

-I mean, uh, that's a shame.

-(GUNFIRES, POLICE SIREN)
_________________________________

POLICEMAN: Step out of the vehicle!
_________________________________

Hey, Fozzie...
_________________________________

Um, I'm sorry I haven't
been in touch more.
_________________________________

It's fine, Kermit. Look at me!

Living the dream!
_________________________________

-(THUNDER CRASHES)

-Uh-oh.
_________________________________

Oh, no! Not this again!
_________________________________

-Quick, save the cushions!

-The cushions?
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

I'm sorry, Fozzie.
_________________________________

If I'd known you were here
in this place...
_________________________________

That's all right, Kermit.

It's not your fault.
_________________________________

-We had a good run.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Yeah, it's just that...
_________________________________

Well, we haven't seen each other

in a really long time, and I...
_________________________________

I just thought maybe we could raise

the money to buy the theater back
_________________________________

if we all got together

and put on one last show.
_________________________________

A show? But I've spent years

building a solo career.
_________________________________

I have a whole new show-biz
family that loves me.
_________________________________

Fozzie! What the heck

are you doing, hibernating?
_________________________________

Next show starts in 30 seconds.
_________________________________

We hired you, and we can fire you,

so get your butt in here now!
_________________________________

(BOTH GRUNT)
_________________________________

-They terrify me. Let's go.

-Hmm, let's go.
_________________________________
KERMIT:

Watch out for the forklift, Fozzie.
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Thanks.

_________________________________

Wow! Gonzo's doing really well!
_________________________________

According to '80s Robot,
_________________________________

he's the richest plumbing magnate
in the Rust Belt.

_________________________________

You! Order 28,000 tons of

plumber's putty from Beijing.
_________________________________

-MAN: Right away, sir.

-And, you, send the 28,000 tons
_________________________________

of Silly Putty back to Beijing.
_________________________________

-MAN: You bet.

-Oh, and you?
_________________________________

A memo to the waterless

toilet department.
_________________________________

I don't care about the mess,

just keep trying.
_________________________________

-Hi, Gonzo.

-Uh... Kermit? Fozzie?
_________________________________
This is a surprise.
_________________________________

-Uh, we need to speak to you.

-All right. Have a seat.
_________________________________

Ah! Thank you!
_________________________________

-I think I'll stand.

-No, really, you should try one! Comfy.

_________________________________

It's our executive line of used toilets.
_________________________________

-ALL: Mmm...

-Anyway, I'm very busy.
_________________________________

-I've got 30 seconds. Go.

-(TICKING)
_________________________________

Uh, Gonzo, I'm not quite

sure how to say this, but...
_________________________________

Don't forget to mention

the evil oil baron.
_________________________________

Yes, Fozzie, I was about to.

Just give me a moment, okay?
_________________________________

Uh, Gonzo, it would appear...
_________________________________

Remember, evil oil baron.
_________________________________

Fozzie, I'm going to get to that. Please!
_________________________________

-As I was trying to say...

-Evil oil baron.
_________________________________

-(BUZZER RINGS)

-Okay, time's up. Thank you, guys.
_________________________________

Gonzo, we're trying to get the

old gang back together again.
_________________________________

-We really need you.

-My answer is no. Good day!
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

Uh, come on, guys. We should go.
_________________________________

I just want to say, when I was a kid,

I saw you recite Hamlet
_________________________________

while jumping your motorbike

through a flaming hoop,
_________________________________
and it made me feel

like I could do anything.
_________________________________

Thank you. Yeah.
_________________________________

(CLUCKING) Gonzo...
_________________________________
You don't have to pretend anymore.
I know what you really want.
_________________________________

-Good try, Walter.
-GONZO: Hey, guys, up here!

_________________________________

-Yee-haw!

-Huh?
_________________________________

I've been wearing this under

my suit every single day for years!
_________________________________

Look out below! Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

Whoa, where you going?

You threw me off-balance!
_________________________________

I can't see! Apollo 13!
_________________________________

-(CLUCKING)

-(GONZO GROANING)
_________________________________

Citizens of Earth,

the Great Gonzo is back.
_________________________________

I pledge never to hold a plunger again!
_________________________________

-(BEEPING)

-Run!
_________________________________
Run! Run for your lives! Run, run, run!
_________________________________

-(SHOUTING)

-Run, guys!
_________________________________

-(CLUCKING)

-Run!
_________________________________

Oh, my gosh, run everybody!
_________________________________

It's gonna be big!
It's gonna be a big one!

_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

Wow! That was an

expensive looking explosion!
_________________________________

I can't believe we had that in the budget.
_________________________________
TEACHER: So maybe if you

look inside yourself,
_________________________________

the person you should be
most angry at is you. It's you.
_________________________________

How have you been feeling?

Any more control issues?
_________________________________

In control.
_________________________________

-Good.

-KERMIT: Psst! Animal!
_________________________________

-TEACHER: Excellent.

-It's me, Kermit.
_________________________________

Hey, we're having a meeting here, man.
_________________________________

You're being really rude, frog!
_________________________________

Pardon us, please. Animal,
I need to talk to you for a second.
_________________________________

We're getting the Muppets back together.

We need you to drum again.
_________________________________

-Animal drum?

-Yes!
_________________________________

-Please, sir.

-Drum! Drum, drum!
_________________________________

-Drum, drum, drum!

-Okay, Okay.
_________________________________

-In control.

-Good.
_________________________________

I'm Animal's court-appointed sponsor.
_________________________________

We don't use the "d-r-u-m" word.
_________________________________

-It's his trigger word.

-His trigger word?
_________________________________

Excuse me, Mr. Black.

I'm so sorry to interrupt,
_________________________________

but it's very important to these guys

that they get their drummer...
_________________________________
Gary!

_________________________________

It's my trigger word, too.
_________________________________

Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday.
_________________________________

Tuesday's another one

of my trigger words!
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, I don't think so!
_________________________________

Sorry.
_________________________________

-Let's go, Animal.

-ANIMAL: Bye-bye!
_________________________________

-Animal, heel.

-Go, Animal! Be free, man!
_________________________________

But remember! No drumming!
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Mr. Kermit,

may I suggest we save time
_________________________________
and pick up the rest of the Muppets
using a montage?
_________________________________
KERMIT: Ah, great idea, '80s Robot.

_________________________________

-(PLAYS GUITAR CHORD)

-We greatly appreciate
_________________________________

-your financial support.

-Whoa!
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Eighty-seven
point three miles to go.

_________________________________
-Eighty-seven point two...
-KERMIT: '80s Robot,
_________________________________

do you have to do that?
_________________________________

...the secrets of the universe...
_________________________________

Whoa! (SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

I guess we're in.
_________________________________
(BACK IN BLACK PLAYING)
_________________________________

Welcome to this week's edition
_________________________________

of "Everything Stinks." Whoa!

_________________________________

Bye, Lisa.
Off to the TED Conference. Whoa!

_________________________________

Three, two, one.
_________________________________

Think we should've rented a bigger car?
_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!

I wanna help save the studio!
_________________________________

I wanna go with you! Oh, not again.
_________________________________

Wow. I can't believe

we're all back together.
_________________________________

Even all you guys

who weren't in the montage!
_________________________________

Yeah, uh, how come you

didn't use me in the montage?
_________________________________

I thought my story was pretty interesting.
_________________________________

-(SNORING)

-Rowlf?
_________________________________

-Huh? What?

-Wanna get back together?
_________________________________

-Okay.

-Good.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Classic.
_________________________________

Anyhow, looks like we got everybody,
_________________________________

so we can plan our telethon

and raise that ten million dollars.
_________________________________

-Well, not everybody.

-No, I think everybody's here.
_________________________________

-Where's...?

-All good!
_________________________________

-Miss...

-All done here!
_________________________________

Piggy?
_________________________________

Kermit, we're going

to get Miss Piggy, right?
_________________________________

Okay, okay, okay, you're right.

We'll go get Piggy!
_________________________________

-(PHONE DIALING)

-My Minitel tells me
_________________________________

she is in Paris, France.
_________________________________

Oh! Well, then we drive to France.
_________________________________

You can't drive to France, Walter.
_________________________________

Yeah. It's way too far.
_________________________________

Then maybe we should travel by map!
_________________________________

-Good idea, Fozzie.

-ALL: Yeah!
_________________________________

(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

ALL: To Paris!
_________________________________
Paris! Paris!

_________________________________
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________
WALTER: Look at these ceilings!

_________________________________
FOZZIE: Yeah. They must

be very tall here.
_________________________________
KERMIT: Yeah, very nice.

_________________________________

Uh, hi there.
_________________________________
Uh, excuse me.
_________________________________

Uh, miss? Uh, pardon me, ma'am?
_________________________________

Hi there! Uh, we're here to see

Miss Piggy, and it's urgent.
_________________________________

-Mmm-hmm.

-Urgent! Urgent!
_________________________________

-Is it urgent?

-Very. Yes.
_________________________________

Let's have a look then, shall we?
_________________________________

She has an opening in
_________________________________

-early September.

-Early September?
_________________________________

That's like six months from now!
_________________________________

That's nothing. Once I waited

a whole year for September.
_________________________________

She is the plus-size editor.
She's a huge deal and extremely busy.
_________________________________

You can't just pop in
without an appointment.
_________________________________

-Oh. Okay, then.

-Thank you.
_________________________________
RECEPTIONIST: All right.
ANIMAL: Mean lady.

_________________________________

-Close the door on your way out.

-KERMIT: Thanks a lot.
_________________________________
-She wasn't very nice.
-KERMIT: Yeah.

_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

-Guys! Muppet Man!

-Huh?
_________________________________

-Yeah!

-Huh?
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-That could work!
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

(MUPPETS GROANING)
_________________________________

I have an appointment.
_________________________________

Oh. Okay.
_________________________________

Um, will you wait here a moment?
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: Decisions, decisions.

_________________________________

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

I choose you. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

-(CHEWING)

-Mademoiselle Cochonnet?
_________________________________

-Can't you see I'm busy?

-Of course.
_________________________________

There's a, um, man here to see you.
_________________________________

He does have an appointment.
_________________________________

An appointment? That's weird.
_________________________________

Well, why didn't you say so?

Send him in!
_________________________________

Right away. Sorry.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-Remember, left foot, right foot.
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

Whoa! Oh, what?
_________________________________

-(GLASS SHATTERS)

-Oop, sorry.
_________________________________

That looked expensive.
_________________________________

Wah!
_________________________________

Whoa! Oh! (SIGHS)
_________________________________

-You look familiar.

-So do you!
_________________________________

-Whoa!

-Please, have a seat.
_________________________________

Yes, we're going to have a seat now.
_________________________________

-No, no, no, don't sit down!

-Oh, sorry! Whoa!
_________________________________

Uh-oh! Message to head.
Left leg in trouble!
_________________________________

Going down. Left leg going down!
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

I can't believe I fell for Muppet Man.
_________________________________
MARY: You guys okay?
GARY: Is anyone hurt?

_________________________________

Kermit?
_________________________________

-Hello, Piggy.

-Kermie!
_________________________________

Oh, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie,

Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie,
_________________________________

Kermie!
_________________________________

Mmm. Kissy-kissy, mmm-mmm.
_________________________________

Wait! What am I doing?

I promised myself I'd never go back!
_________________________________

I am woman! I am strong!

You must leave at once!
_________________________________

-(SPEAKS FRENCH)

-Okay.
_________________________________

No, no, wait, wait!
_________________________________

Miss Piggy!

The Muppet Studios are in danger.
_________________________________

In danger? Our studios? Kermit!
_________________________________

It's true, Piggy. And we need
to do The Muppet Show again.

_________________________________

-We need you.

-Oh.
_________________________________

Before I decide anything,

I need to talk with you, frog.
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

Alone.
_________________________________

Piggy? Last time we were together,
_________________________________

I said some things I regret.
_________________________________

No. No, Kermit.

You were just being honest.
_________________________________

You never intended to marry me.
_________________________________

Not even after I built us a house
_________________________________

where we could raise tadpoles

and grow old together.
_________________________________

Well, who do you think's been looking

after that house all these years, huh?
_________________________________

Piggy, why do you have to always

be so overdramatic about things?
_________________________________

You know, it leaves me no choice

but to do things that hurt you.
_________________________________

I am who I am. Why can't
you accept that about me?
_________________________________

Look, this is not about you and me.
_________________________________

It's never about you and me, is it?
_________________________________

It's always "we." "We" this, "we" that.
_________________________________

"We need you." You can't even say,

"I need you," can you?
_________________________________

Piggy, uh...
_________________________________

I'm sorry, Kermit, but I have a life here.
_________________________________

A life I've made for myself.
_________________________________

Oh. Piggy!
_________________________________

Just remember, Kermit,

I cannot be replaced.
_________________________________

Kermit? What happened?

Where's Miss Piggy?
_________________________________

She's not coming, Fozzie.
_________________________________

-(ALL GASPING)

-But, Kermit,
_________________________________
we always worked together.

We can't do this without Miss Piggy.
_________________________________

No one would give
us a show without her.
_________________________________

We'll be fine, Fozzie.
_________________________________

We'll be fine.
_________________________________

We just...
_________________________________

We'll just have to
come up with something else.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Kermie.
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________
KERMIT: Okay, I've got an idea.

We need a pig that can sing.
_________________________________
FOZZIE: But, Kermit, who could

possibly replace Miss Piggy?
_________________________________
IRIDESSA: That's it, Cheese.

Keep them coming.
_________________________________

Next.
_________________________________

Okay. Next.
_________________________________

Iridessa,

how are those lanterns coming?
_________________________________

Almost done, Fairy Mary. Whoa!

Good shot, Cheese.
_________________________________

Next, I'll get Rosetta some light crystals

for the fireworks.
_________________________________

I can't wait to mix them up

with my begonias, gardenias and...
_________________________________

-Forget-me-nots.

-Forget-me-nots.
_________________________________

I keep forgetting those.
_________________________________

Fawn, show me how that

21-butterfly salute is coming along.
_________________________________

All right, fellas, when I blow the whistle,

you guys go.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING IN AGREEMENT)
_________________________________

On your mark, get set...
_________________________________

(BUTTERFLIES EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

One down and 20 to go.
_________________________________

Keep at it, sweetie.

Silvermist, what are you working on?
_________________________________

Pollywog bubbles. Okay, guys.
_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

(FAIRY MARY CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-There you go.

-Nicely done, dear.
_________________________________

Next.
_________________________________

Fireworks. Is it ready yet?
_________________________________

-Yes!

-Let her rip!
_________________________________

-Right, Bobble.

-Dear.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
BOBBLE: I'm okay.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________
BOBBLE: Still okay.

_________________________________

Honestly.
_________________________________

One, two.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

You know,

I can't help but notice you seem
_________________________________

a little at war with yourself here.
_________________________________

-What?

-I'm only picking up bits and pieces.
_________________________________

Overprotective mother,

forbidden road trip. This is serious stuff.
_________________________________

But let me ease your conscience.

This is part of growing up.
_________________________________

A little rebellion, a little adventure,

that's good. Healthy, even.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) You think?
_________________________________

I know. You're way over-thinking this,

trust me.
_________________________________

Does your mother deserve it? No.
_________________________________

Would this break her heart

and crush her soul? Of course!
_________________________________

But you've got to do it.
_________________________________

"Break her heart"?
_________________________________

-In half.

-"Crush her soul"?
_________________________________

Like a grape.
_________________________________

She would be heartbroken. You're right.
_________________________________

I am, aren't I? Oh, bother.
_________________________________

All right. I can't believe I'm saying this,

but I'm letting you out of the deal.
_________________________________

-What?

-That's right, but don't thank me.
_________________________________

Let's turn around and get you home.

Here's your pan, here's your frog.
_________________________________

I get back my satchel,
_________________________________

you get back a mother-daughter

relationship based on mutual trust,
_________________________________

and voilá,

we part ways as unlikely friends.
_________________________________

No! I am seeing those lanterns.
_________________________________

Oh, come on! What is it going to take

for me to get my satchel back?
_________________________________

I will use this.
_________________________________

-(TWIG SNAPPING)

-(PASCAL SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(GASPS) Is it ruffians? Thugs?

Have they come for me?
_________________________________

Stay calm. It can probably smell fear.
_________________________________

Oh! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Sorry! Guess I'm just a little bit jumpy.
_________________________________

Probably be best if we avoid ruffians

and thugs, though.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SELF-CONSCIOUSLY)

Yeah, that would probably be best.
_________________________________

Are you hungry?

I know a great place for lunch.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Where?
_________________________________

Oh, don't you worry.

You'll know it when you smell it.
_________________________________

I don't understand, Blaze.

We should've seen land by now.
_________________________________

You go ahead and get some rest.

I'll take first watch.
_________________________________
(BAD TO THE BONE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SCRAPING)
_________________________________

Hey, what's everybody
so quiet about, huh?
_________________________________

Well, she's sorta like Miss Piggy.
_________________________________

Come on, everybody.

Let's go pitch our telethon
_________________________________

and get the Muppets back on TV, okay?
_________________________________

-No.

-No.
_________________________________

-(SPEAKS SPANISH)

-(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

Oh, my goodness! Oh, that's wonderful!
_________________________________

-That means "no."

-(SILENCES)
_________________________________

-Oh.

-Uh, come on, guys.
_________________________________

-Awkward.

-(ALL SIGH)
_________________________________

Listen, Kermit, I like you.
_________________________________

I remember you guys

from when I was a kid.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-So I'm gonna shoot straight.
_________________________________

-You guys aren't famous anymore.

-Yeesh!
_________________________________

I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
_________________________________

Take a look at this diagram
the research department drew up.
_________________________________

This circle represents
everything that's currently popular.
_________________________________

And this tiny speck is you guys.
_________________________________

So the answer's no.
It's not gonna happen.

_________________________________

Take a look at the shows that

are popular now. Punch Teacher.
_________________________________

-Ooh, I love that show.

-It's time to punch teacher!
_________________________________

-(ALL CHEERING)

-HOST: Finish him!
_________________________________

It's my favorite.
_________________________________

MAN: I just thought
_________________________________

I could make a difference.
_________________________________

I'm sorry, but in this market,
_________________________________
you guys are no longer relevant.
Have a good day.
_________________________________

(ALL MUMBLING)
_________________________________

Before I go,

I'd just like to say something.
_________________________________

I think kids are smarter and better

than all this junk, and if you...
_________________________________

-Whoa!

-Veronica, bad news.
_________________________________

Punch Teacher has stopped production.
_________________________________

It's being sued by the

Teachers Society of America.
_________________________________

-What's their problem?

-No idea. I just found out.
_________________________________

What are we supposed to do

with that 120-minute black hole
_________________________________

in the schedule coming up in two days?
_________________________________
(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

Okay, Muppets.

You've got yourselves a show.
_________________________________

-Oh, yes!

-(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

Thank you so much. You will not

be sorry, I promise, I promise!
_________________________________

Okay, enough! One, no more going nuts
in my office. These are new carpets.
_________________________________

-Yes, ma'am.

-And two, you need a celebrity host.
_________________________________

Okay. Whatever, whatever.

Come on, guys, let's go. Yeah!

_________________________________
BOBO: Let me wipe that down.
_________________________________
DEADLY: You've missed a spot.

_________________________________

-I don't see it.

-Just a little lower! Ah!
_________________________________

-Oh, I am so sorry. Did I get you...

-Yes.
_________________________________

Well, gentlemen. It appears

we have some competition
_________________________________

on the Muppet property.
_________________________________

The Economist says they've

gotten back together again.
_________________________________

The Muppets got back together?
_________________________________

Ooh, ooh, remember?
_________________________________

(SINGING) Together again
Gee, it's good to be...
_________________________________

Gentlemen, please!
_________________________________

-(WHIMPERS)

-No singing in my office!
_________________________________

-Yes, sir.

-But, of course, it was all his fault.
_________________________________

-Mostly his fault.

-No matter.
_________________________________

Point is that studio and

that oil belong to me.
_________________________________

Yeah, those Muppets
are gonna be running home
_________________________________
with their tails between their legs.
_________________________________

Some of 'em literally.

Because those ones have tails.
_________________________________

Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

That's a maniacal laugh moment.
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(TWIG SNAPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING MENACINGLY)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

A palace horse.
_________________________________

Where's your rider?
_________________________________

Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Rapunzel!
_________________________________

(NEIGHS IN CONFUSION)
_________________________________

Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(POUNDING)
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

Rapunzel!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________
KERMIT: Okay, this is it.
_________________________________
'80s Robot, let's park around back.

_________________________________

(CHAIN RATTLES)
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________
KERMIT: It's The Muppet Show, with
our special guest star, Mr. Bob Hope!

_________________________________
(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: Time once again

for Veterinarian's Hospital,

_________________________________
the continuing story of...

_________________________________
And now, Pigs in Space!

_________________________________
Gary. Can you believe it?
_________________________________

The Muppet Theater.
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

-Welcome back, everyone.

-Thanks.
_________________________________

Well, I know the old place is
not quite at its best right now.
_________________________________

Yeah! Who cancelled
the maid service? (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

But don't worry. We'll be fine.
_________________________________

Uh, Kermit, there's no way we can

rehearse with the place like this.
_________________________________

Wait. Kermit, don't say another word.
_________________________________

Mary, Walter and I, well, we would be
happy to help you rebuild the theater.

_________________________________

Honestly, it would be an honor
for all three of us.
_________________________________

So would.
_________________________________

Okay. Well, let's clean this place up!
_________________________________

ALL: Yeah!
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

-This is boring.

-But don't you guys remember?
_________________________________

You're the Muppets!
You do this to music!
_________________________________

-Well, all right!
(WE BUILT THIS CITY PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) We built this city
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
Built this city
_________________________________

-Hey, Animal!

-Yeah?
_________________________________

-Look what I found!

-(SCREAMING)

_________________________________
We built this city

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Built this city

-(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Beauregard!

-Scooter! Good to see you!
_________________________________

Uh, where's everybody been?
_________________________________

Celebrity... Celebrity!
_________________________________

Hello! Yes. Could I speak

with President Carter, please?
_________________________________

Oh, he moved, huh?
_________________________________

Well, you don't happen to have

a number where I could reach...
_________________________________

-(DIAL TONE)

-Hello?
_________________________________

Walter, I thought we were gonna
clean the balcony.
_________________________________

-Doing a great job, pal.
-You're doing a great job.
_________________________________
Wocka wocka.

_________________________________

Hey, guys!
_________________________________
Look at these old photos I just found.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-Ah,
_________________________________

can you believe that

'80s haircut I used to have?
_________________________________

I looked totally ridiculous!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Don't you remember

_________________________________
We built this city

_________________________________
Yes, it's Kermit. The frog.
_________________________________

Could you come to our celebrity
telethon this weekend?
_________________________________

Sure. Sure, I understand.
_________________________________

We built this city

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
(BABBLING)
_________________________________

-Hey, shut the door!

-What is that?
_________________________________

(GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)

-We built this city on rock and roll
_________________________________

We built this city
_________________________________

Ah

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Built this city

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
Wow! Great job, everybody!
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Kermit.

Listen, um, have a great night,
_________________________________

and I just want you to know,

Walter and I are really good sewers,
_________________________________

so we'll have those costumes

ready for you in no time.
_________________________________

Oh, good.
_________________________________

-Well, you two have a great night.

-Okay. Thank you!
_________________________________

-Bye.

-ROWLF: Uh, Kermit?
_________________________________

Gary, I was kind of hoping
that we could go to the beach tomorrow

_________________________________

-or see the Hollywood Sign.

-We'll have plenty of time
_________________________________

to do that stuff.
_________________________________
It's just, right now,
I don't wanna leave Walter.
_________________________________

You know, he needs me.
_________________________________

I don't know, sweetheart.

He seems pretty happy.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHTER)
-FOZZIE: Like that.
_________________________________
WALTER: Oh, okay.

FOZZIE: Now you.

_________________________________

Yeah, that's it! Yeah, yeah, good job!
_________________________________

Well, just one more day, okay?

And then I'm all yours.
_________________________________

Tell you what. Why don't you get
a head start on sightseeing tomorrow,

_________________________________

and then I'll be waiting
for you when you get back.

_________________________________

Okay. Just... Don't forget about me.
_________________________________

-Never.

-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Well, we're still on

for dinner Friday, right?
_________________________________

Yeah, of course.
_________________________________

-Oh, Walter!

-Oh, yes, Kermit.
_________________________________

Hey, listen, Walter, I just wanna tell you
_________________________________

that none of this would have happened
without you, so thank you.
_________________________________

-Oh, well...

-Oh. And, uh, welcome aboard.
_________________________________

Night, everybody. Just sleep

anywhere you can find a spot.
_________________________________

"Welcome aboard?"

_________________________________

I know it's around here somewhere.
_________________________________

Ah, there it is! The Snuggly Duckling.
_________________________________

Don't worry. Very quaint place.

Perfect for you.
_________________________________

Don't want you scaring and giving up

on this whole endeavor now, do we?
_________________________________

-Well, I do like ducklings.

-Yay!
_________________________________

(MEN CHATTERING)
_________________________________

Garcon, your finest table, please!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

You smell that? Take a deep breath

through the nose. (INHALES DEEPLY)
_________________________________

Really let that seep in.

What are you getting?
_________________________________

To me, it's part man-smell and the other

part is really bad man-smell.
_________________________________

I don't know why,

but overall it smells like the color brown.
_________________________________

-Your thoughts?

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

That's a lot of hair.
_________________________________

She's growing it out.

Is that blood in your mustache?
_________________________________

Goldie, look at all the blood

in his mustache!
_________________________________

Good sir, that's a lot of blood!
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

You don't look so good, blondie. Maybe

we should get you home, call it a day.
_________________________________

Probably better off.

This is a five-star joint.
_________________________________

If you can't handle this place, maybe

you should be back in your tower.
_________________________________

-(RAPUNZEL GASPS)

-Is this you?
_________________________________
FLYNN: (GRUNTS)

Now they're just being mean.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) It's him, all right.
_________________________________

Greno, go find some guards.
_________________________________

That reward

is going to buy me a new hook.
_________________________________

-I could use the money.

-What about me? I'm broke!
_________________________________

Get back!
_________________________________

-Mine!

-Ruffians, stop!
_________________________________

-We can work this out!

-Hey! Leave him alone!
_________________________________

Gentlemen, please!
_________________________________

Give me back my guide! Ruffians!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Not the nose! Not the nose!
_________________________________

Put him down!
_________________________________

I don't know where I am, and I need him

to take me to see the lanterns
_________________________________

because I've been dreaming about them

my entire life!
_________________________________

Find your humanity!

Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
_________________________________

I had a dream once.
_________________________________

(PLAYING NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

(SINGING) I'm malicious,
mean and scary
_________________________________

My sneer could curdle dairy

_________________________________
And violence-wise
my hands are not the cleanest

_________________________________
But despite my evil look
And my temper and my hook
_________________________________

I've always yearned
to be a concert pianist
_________________________________

(PLAYING PIANO)
_________________________________

Can't you see me on the stage
performing Mozart

_________________________________
Tickling the ivories till they gleam
_________________________________

Yep, I'd rather be called deadly

For my killer show tune medley
_________________________________

Thank you!
_________________________________

'Cause way down deep inside
I've got a dream

_________________________________
ALL: He's got a dream
He's got a dream

_________________________________
See, I ain't as cruel and vicious
as I seem
_________________________________

Though I do like breaking femurs

You can count me with the dreamers
_________________________________

Like everybody else I've got a dream
_________________________________

(MEN HUMMING DISTANTLY)
_________________________________

I've got scars and lumps and bruises

Plus something here that oozes
_________________________________

And let's not even mention
my complexion
_________________________________

But despite my extra toes
And my goiter and my nose
_________________________________

I really want to make a love connection
_________________________________

Can't you see me
with a special little lady?
_________________________________

Rowing in a rowboat down the stream
_________________________________

Though I'm one disgusting blighter
I'm a lover not a fighter

_________________________________
'Cause way down deep inside
I've got a dream

_________________________________
-I've got a dream

-ALL: He's got a dream
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-He's got a dream
_________________________________

And I know one day
romance will reign supreme
_________________________________

Though my face
leaves people screaming

_________________________________
There's a child behind it dreaming

_________________________________
Like everybody else, I've got a dream

_________________________________
Thor would like to quit and be a florist

_________________________________
Gunther does interior design

_________________________________
-Ulf is into mime

-Attila's cupcakes are sublime
_________________________________

Bruiser knits, Killer sews
Fang does little puppet shows
_________________________________

And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns
_________________________________

(DINGING)
_________________________________

-What about you?

-I'm sorry, me?
_________________________________

What's your dream?
_________________________________

No, no, no. Sorry, boys. I don't sing.
_________________________________

(SINGING) I have dreams like you
No, really

_________________________________
Just much less touchy-feely

_________________________________
They mainly happen
somewhere warm and sunny

_________________________________
On an island that I own
Tanned and rested and alone
_________________________________

Surrounded by enormous
piles of money
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-ALL: She's got a dream
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-She's got a dream
_________________________________

I just want to see
the floating lanterns gleam
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

And with every passing hour
I'm so glad I left my tower
_________________________________

Like all you lovely folks
I've got a dream
_________________________________

She's got a dream
He's got a dream
_________________________________

They've got a dream
We've got a dream
_________________________________

So our differences
ain't really that extreme
_________________________________

We're one big team
_________________________________

-Call us brutal

-Sick
_________________________________

-Sadistic

-And grotesquely optimistic
_________________________________

'Cause way down deep inside
we've got a dream

_________________________________
-I've got a dream

-I've got a dream
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Yes, way down deep inside
I've got a dream
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

I found the guards!
_________________________________

Where's Rider? Where is he?
_________________________________

I know he's in here somewhere.

Find him.
_________________________________

Turn the place upside down

if you have to!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CHAINS RATTLING)
_________________________________

Go. Live your dream.
_________________________________

-I will.

-Your dream stinks.
_________________________________

I was talking to her.
_________________________________

Thanks for everything.
_________________________________

I believe

this is the man you're looking for.
_________________________________

(SLURRING) You got me!
_________________________________

Sir, there's no sign of Rider.
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

Maximus!
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

What's he doing?
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(SNUFFLES)
_________________________________

A passage! Come on, men. Let's go.
_________________________________

Conli! Make sure those boys

don't get away.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Play it safe
_________________________________

or go get the crown?
_________________________________

(BOTH CHUCKLE)
_________________________________

(SLURRING) I got a dream
I got some dreams

_________________________________
Oh! Somebody get me a glass!
_________________________________

Because I just found me

a tall drink of water.
_________________________________

Oh, stop it, you big lug.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Where does that tunnel let out?
_________________________________

Knife!
_________________________________

I didn't know you had that in you

back there. That was pretty impressive.
_________________________________

I know!
_________________________________

I know.
_________________________________

So... Flynn? Where are you from?
_________________________________

Whoa! Sorry, blondie,

I don't do back-story.
_________________________________

However, I am becoming

very interested in yours.
_________________________________

I know I'm not supposed

to mention the hair.
_________________________________

-Nope.

-Or the mother.
_________________________________

-Uh-uh.

-I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
_________________________________

-Chameleon.

-Nuance.
_________________________________

Here's my question, though,

if you want to see the lanterns so badly
_________________________________

why haven't you gone before?
_________________________________

Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

Well...
_________________________________

(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

Uh, Flynn?
_________________________________

Flynn?
_________________________________

-Rider?

-(MAXIMUS NEIGHING)
_________________________________

Run. Run!
_________________________________

-Who's that?

-They don't like me.
_________________________________

-Who's that?

-They don't like me either.
_________________________________

-(NEIGHING FIERCELY)

-Who's that?
_________________________________

Let's assume that everyone in here

doesn't like me.
_________________________________

-Here.

-(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

I waited a long time for this.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Oh, mama!

I have got to get me one of these!
_________________________________

Ha!
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING CHALLENGINGLY)
_________________________________

(FLYNN GRUNTING)
_________________________________

You should know that this

is the strangest thing I've ever done!
_________________________________

(DISTANT CLATTERING)
_________________________________

How about two out of three?
_________________________________

Flynn!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(NEIGHS IN SURPRISE)
_________________________________

Flynn, look out!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Ha! You should see your faces,

because you look...
_________________________________

(GASPING) ...ridiculous.
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

Come on, blondie! Jump!
_________________________________

(NEIGHING FIERCELY)
_________________________________

(MAN SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

It's no use. I can't see anything.
_________________________________

(BREATHING SHALLOWLY)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

Hey, there's no point.

It's pitch-black down there.
_________________________________

(DEJECTEDLY) This is all my fault.
_________________________________

She was right.

I never should have done this.
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

I'm so...
_________________________________

I'm so sorry, Flynn.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Eugene.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert.
_________________________________

Someone might as well know.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I have magic hair

that glows when I sing.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

I have magic hair that glows

when I sing!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower gleam and glow
Let your power shine
_________________________________

(BOTH INHALING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(BOTH COUGHING)
_________________________________

We made it.
_________________________________

-Her hair glows.

-We're alive. I'm alive!
_________________________________

-I didn't see that coming.

-Eugene?
_________________________________

The hair actually glows.
_________________________________

-Why does her hair glow?

-Eugene!
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

It doesn't just glow.
_________________________________

Why is he smiling at me?
_________________________________

Whoa! I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm...

In a tree?
_________________________________

This must be the lost island.
_________________________________

There it is.

The stone arch from the story!
_________________________________

You stay here and guard the balloon.
_________________________________

I'll be right back.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

This is supposed to be a rock arch,

not a twisty, branchy, tree arch.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Not now.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

What has gotten into you?
_________________________________

Blaze, where's the balloon?
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

It's gone?
_________________________________

My compass, my supplies,

my pixie dust.
_________________________________

I left you in charge.

Why didn't you warn me?
_________________________________

Well, I... You...
_________________________________

Okay, okay. We'll get back to that later.

We gotta find that balloon.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

(BLAZE SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Blaze!
_________________________________
TERENCE: Tink?

_________________________________

-I'm so sorry...

-Terence. Terence. How did you...
_________________________________

You brought this stupid thing here.

You broke the scepter.
_________________________________

-This is your fault!

-Tink, I...
_________________________________

I was just trying to be a good friend. I...
_________________________________

Just leave me alone!
_________________________________

Fine! Last time I try to help you.
_________________________________

No. Terence, come back. Terence.
_________________________________

Terence.
_________________________________

(MEN COUGHING)
_________________________________

(WHEEZING)
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

I'll kill him. I'll kill that Rider!
_________________________________

We'll cut him off at the kingdom

and get back the crown. Come on!
_________________________________
GOTHEL: Or...

_________________________________

Perhaps you want to stop

acting like wild dogs
_________________________________

chasing their tails

and think for a moment.
_________________________________

(SCOFFS) Oh, please,

there's no need for that.
_________________________________

(BOTH GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

Well, if that's all you desire,

then be on your way.
_________________________________

I was going to offer you something

worth 1,000 crowns.
_________________________________

Would have made you

rich beyond belief,
_________________________________

and that wasn't even the best part.

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Oh, well. C'est la vie. Enjoy your crown!
_________________________________

What's the best part?
_________________________________

It comes with revenge on Flynn Rider.
_________________________________

You're being strangely cryptic
_________________________________

as you wrap your magic hair

around my injured hand.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Sorry.
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

Just don't... Don't freak out.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower, gleam and glow
_________________________________

Let your power shine
_________________________________

Make the clock reverse
_________________________________

Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

Heal what has been hurt

_________________________________
Change the Fates' design

_________________________________
Save what has been lost

_________________________________
Bring back what once was mine

_________________________________
What once was mine

_________________________________
(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(BREATHING HEAVILY)
_________________________________

(SCREAM BUILDING)
_________________________________

Please don't freak out!
_________________________________

(STRANGLED GASPING)
_________________________________

I'm not freaking out.

Are you freaking out?
_________________________________

I'm just interested in your hair

and the magical qualities it possesses.
_________________________________

How long has it been

doing that exactly?
_________________________________

Forever, I guess.
_________________________________

Mother says when I was a baby,

people tried to cut it.
_________________________________

They wanted to take it for themselves.
_________________________________

But once it's cut,

it turns brown and loses its power.
_________________________________

A gift like that, it has to be protected.
_________________________________

That's why Mother never let me...
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

That's why I never left and...
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

You never left that tower.
_________________________________

And you're still going to go back?
_________________________________

No! Yes.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
_________________________________

It's complicated.
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

So, Eugene Fitzherbert, huh?
_________________________________

Ah, yeah. Well...
_________________________________

I'll spare you the sob story

of poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert.
_________________________________

It's a little bit of a downer.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

There was this book I used to read

every night to all the younger kids.
_________________________________

The Tales of Flynnagan Rider.
_________________________________

Swashbuckling rogue, richest man

alive, not bad with the ladies either.
_________________________________

Not that he'd ever brag about it,

of course.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Was he a thief, too?
_________________________________

Uh...
_________________________________

Well, no.
_________________________________

He had enough money to do anything

that he wanted to do.
_________________________________

He could go anywhere

that he wanted to go.
_________________________________

And for a kid with nothing,

I don't know, I...
_________________________________

Just seemed like the better option.
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

You can't tell anyone about this, okay?
_________________________________

It could ruin my whole reputation.
_________________________________

Ah. We wouldn't want that.
_________________________________

A fake reputation is all a man has.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

Well, I should, um...
_________________________________

(STAMMERING) I should

get some more firewood.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: Hey.

_________________________________

For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert

much better than Flynn Rider.
_________________________________

Well.
_________________________________

Then you'd be the first. But thank you.
_________________________________

Well, I thought he'd never leave.
_________________________________

Mother?
_________________________________

Hello, dear.
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL STAMMERING

NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

How did you find me?
_________________________________

Oh, it was easy, really.
_________________________________

I just listened for the sound of complete

and utter betrayal and followed that.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Mother...
_________________________________

-We're going home. Now.

-You don't understand.
_________________________________

I've been on this incredible journey,

and I've seen and learned so much.
_________________________________

I even met someone.
_________________________________

Yes, the wanted thief. I'm so proud.

Come on.
_________________________________

Mother, wait. I think...
_________________________________

I think he likes me.
_________________________________

Likes you?

Please, Rapunzel, that's demented!
_________________________________

(PROTESTING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) This is why
you never should have left
_________________________________

Dear, this whole romance
that you've invented
_________________________________

Just proves you're too naive to be here

_________________________________
Why would he like you?
Come on now, really

_________________________________
Look at you!
You think that he's impressed?
_________________________________

Don't be a dummy, come with Mummy
_________________________________

Mother...
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

No?
_________________________________

Oh, I see how it is
_________________________________

Rapunzel knows best
Rapunzel's so mature now
_________________________________

Such a clever grown-up miss
_________________________________

Rapunzel knows best
Fine, if you're so sure now
_________________________________

-Go ahead, then give him this!

-How did you...
_________________________________

This is why he's here
Don't let him deceive you
_________________________________

Give it to him, watch, you'll see
_________________________________

I will!
_________________________________

Trust me, my dear
That's how fast he'll leave you
_________________________________

I won't say I told you so
_________________________________

No, Rapunzel knows best
So, if he's such a dreamboat
_________________________________

Go and put him to the test
_________________________________

Mother, wait!
_________________________________

If he's lying, don't come crying

_________________________________
Mother knows best

_________________________________
FLYNN: So, can I ask you something?
_________________________________

Is there any chance that I'm going to get

super strength in my hand?
_________________________________

Because I'm not going to lie.

That would be stupendous.
_________________________________

Hey, you all right?
_________________________________

Oh! Sorry, yes.

Just lost in thought, I guess.
_________________________________

Here's the thing,
_________________________________

superhuman good looks,

I've always had them. Born with it.
_________________________________

But superhuman strength! Can you

imagine the possibilities of this?
_________________________________

Patience, boys.
_________________________________

All good things to those who wait.

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

-(CLUCKING)

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

-(SNORING)

-Hey, Kermit. You awake?
_________________________________

Yep.
_________________________________

What's the weather

supposed to be like tonight?
_________________________________

I don't know. Why?
_________________________________

Oh. I just don't want it to rain

through the hole in the ceiling.
_________________________________

Oh. Stars sure are pretty, though.
_________________________________

FOZZIE: We're gonna be okay, right?
_________________________________

We haven't done this in a long time,
_________________________________

and I really don't
wanna go back to Reno.

_________________________________

Don't worry, Fozzie. We'll be fine.
_________________________________

Look how we cleaned this place
up today, you know?

_________________________________

Same old team, all pulling together.
_________________________________

I guess you're right. Night-night, Kermit.
_________________________________

Good night, Fozzie. (SIGHS)
_________________________________

Blaze, where are you?
_________________________________

Blaze!
_________________________________

I lost my balloon. I lost my pixie dust.

I'm starving.
_________________________________

What have I done?
_________________________________

(BOTH EXCLAIM)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Wow, that hit the spot.

Thank you so much.
_________________________________

Hey, we're lost.
_________________________________

By any chance, have you seen

a stone arch around here?
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

I'm out of dust.

Looks like I'll be walking from here.
_________________________________

My compass!
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Ouch!
_________________________________

That is a sharp thingy.
_________________________________

Terence.
_________________________________

The stone arch. Blaze, hey, we made it!

We're here!
_________________________________

Thank you so much.
_________________________________

Thank you all so much. Bye, now. Bye!
_________________________________

Great to have friends

that will help you out, huh?
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(SNORING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

(MUMBLES SLEEPILY)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(SNORTING)
_________________________________

Well, I hope you're here to apologize.
_________________________________

(FLYNN SCREAMING)
_________________________________

No, put me down! Stop it! No!
_________________________________

-Let me go!

-(NEIGHING FIERCELY)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING) Give me him!
_________________________________

-(NEIGHING)

-FLYNN: Stop, stop, stop!
_________________________________

(FLYNN EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(NICKERING GROGGILY)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
_________________________________

Easy, boy. Easy! Settle down.
_________________________________

(NEIGHING FIERCELY)
_________________________________

Easy, boy. Easy.
_________________________________

(SOOTHINGLY) Easy.
_________________________________

That's it.
_________________________________

Now sit.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(FIRMLY) Sit!
_________________________________

-FLYNN: What?

-Now drop the boot.
_________________________________

Drop it.
_________________________________

(COOING) Aw!
_________________________________

You're such a good boy! Yes, you are!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING AFFECTIONATELY)
_________________________________

You all tired from chasing this bad man

all over the place?
_________________________________

-FLYNN: Excuse me?

-Nobody appreciates you, do they?
_________________________________

-Do they?
-(SNORTS)

_________________________________

Oh, come on. He's a bad horse!
_________________________________

Oh, he's nothing but a big sweetheart.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS HAPPILY)
_________________________________

Isn't that right...
_________________________________

Maximus?
_________________________________

You've got to be kidding me.
_________________________________

Look. Today is kind of

the biggest day of my life,
_________________________________

and the thing is,

I need you not to get him arrested.
_________________________________

-(HUFFS)

-Just for 24 hours,
_________________________________

and then you can chase each other

to your heart's content.
_________________________________

Okay?
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

And it's also my birthday.

Just so you know.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-(NEIGHS)

-(CHUCKLES CONTENTEDLY)
_________________________________
KERMIT: Okay, gather around, troops!

_________________________________

Everybody, time to get

this rehearsal going.
_________________________________

-Scooter, is everybody here?

-Almost everyone, chief.
_________________________________

-Yeah...

-Hey, uh, anybody got any kerosene?
_________________________________

I wanna take these old pig
dresses out back and burn 'em.
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: Hold it right there,
sausage snout!

_________________________________

-Piggy?

-Huh?
_________________________________

Well, look what the cat dragged in.
_________________________________

Come on. Keep it up, Maurice.
_________________________________

Sorry, Miss Piggy, but you've

been replaced... Permanently.
_________________________________

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah!
_________________________________

I don't think so... Sister?
_________________________________

Who you calling "sister," sister?
_________________________________

-Oh, look, an omelet station!

-Oh, where?
_________________________________

-Hi-yah!

-Ah!
_________________________________

There's only one Miss Piggy,

and she is moi.
_________________________________

Yeah, well, you ain't seen
the last of me!
_________________________________
I'll be back!
_________________________________

Yeah, yeah. Heard of mouthwash?
_________________________________
Welcome back, Miss Piggy.

_________________________________

All right, all right, don't crowd me!
_________________________________
Wow, she sure hasn't changed.

_________________________________

Piggy? You came back.
_________________________________

I'm not here for you, Kermit.

I'm here for them.
_________________________________

(DOOR CLOSES)
_________________________________

And besides, when this show's done,
_________________________________

I'm catching the next plane

back to my life in Paris.
_________________________________

Okay, Piggy, okay. Uh, places for the
opening number, everybody!

_________________________________

(MISS PIGGY GROWLS)
_________________________________

KERMIT: Oh, good morning, Veronica.
_________________________________

Morning, Frog.

-Okay, everybody,
_________________________________
let's take it from the top.
_________________________________

-(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

-Oh!
_________________________________

-You missed your cue.

-I know!
_________________________________

There's kind of
a rhythm to this, you know?

_________________________________

Ah! Oh, and if you like that one,
_________________________________

what's the bear capital of the world?
_________________________________

Mos-cow! Ah!
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-(EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

Ha!
_________________________________

(SINGING) It's time to play the music
_________________________________

-It's time to light the lights

-Two, three, four.
_________________________________

It's time to put on makeup
_________________________________

It's time to dress up right
_________________________________

Hey guys, stop. Cut, cut, cut,
cut, cut. What's the problem?
_________________________________

We can't keep time without

the drums, man! We need drums!
_________________________________

-Oh! Sorry, Animal.

-No drums! No drums!
_________________________________

-Jack Black said no drums!
-Animal, heel! Sit!

_________________________________

-(SIGHS) Who's next?

-ANIMAL: In control.
_________________________________

Oh. Hey, Walter?
_________________________________

Oh. Uh, yes, Kermit?
_________________________________

You think you might

wanna help us out here?
_________________________________

Maybe do something in the show?
_________________________________

Kermit, you know,

you've been so nice to me,
_________________________________

but I have to face the facts.
_________________________________

See, the Muppets are so talented...
_________________________________

Hey, guys, check it out! Fart shoes!
_________________________________

-(FARTING SOUNDS)

-Patent pending!
_________________________________

And... I don't have any talent at all.
_________________________________

The truth is... (SIGHS)

I can't perform with you guys.
_________________________________

I feel like a phony just being here.
_________________________________

Walter, just because you haven't
found your talent yet,
_________________________________

doesn't mean you don't have one.
_________________________________

If you look inside yourself,
_________________________________

I'm sure you'll find something

that you're really good at.
_________________________________

Okay, Kermit. I'll try.
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

WOMAN: Take my picture!
_________________________________

Welcome.
How many in your party? Two?
_________________________________

Uh, no, just the one.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) All right,

party of one, follow me.
_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) I look around, and once
again I'm on my own

_________________________________
My man ain't here
He's gone and done me wrong

_________________________________
No one's gonna stop this girl
from having fun
_________________________________

I throw my hands up high
and have a party for one

_________________________________
I'm having a me party
A party by myself

_________________________________
A me party
I don't need nobody else
_________________________________

A me party
I'm the first and last to show
_________________________________

There's no one at this party
that I don't already know
_________________________________

I'm not gonna sit around
by myself and wait for you
_________________________________

Haven't you heard?
One is the new two
_________________________________

I'm gonna make a scene
I'm gonna make a fuss
_________________________________

Tonight I'm gonna celebrate
with just the one of us
_________________________________

I'm having a me party
Haven't I seen me here before?
_________________________________

A me party
I'm the last one on the dance floor
_________________________________

-Me party

-A party just for moi
_________________________________

-Me party

-It's a solo Mardi Gras
_________________________________

I'm having a me party
I'm such good company
_________________________________

-A me party

-I saved the last dance for me
_________________________________

-Ooh

-Ooh
_________________________________

What happens at a me party
stays at a me party
_________________________________

Excuse me, miss, are you

expecting anyone else?
_________________________________

Oh... No.
_________________________________

No, it's just me. Party of one.
_________________________________
MAN: Order up!

_________________________________

Okay, cue 17 is Fozzie's intro.
_________________________________

Hey, Scooter? What's left?
_________________________________

Oh, uh, it's you, chief!
_________________________________

-Hmm?

-Your duet. With Piggy.
_________________________________
(KNOCKING SOFTLY)
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: (SINGING)

Yes I know what's on your mind
_________________________________

-Miss Piggy?

-Hmm?
_________________________________

We're all out front practicing our acts,
_________________________________

and seems that everybody expects
you and I to do a duet, so...
_________________________________

Oh, that's so lovely,

but I'm afraid I can't.
_________________________________

No, no, you see, I'm already doing

a duet with my new dance partner.
_________________________________

(SPEAKS SPANISH, LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Okay, come on, rehearsing,

let's go. We gotta break it up.
_________________________________

-Excuse us.

-'Scuse us.
_________________________________

Let's try that lift again, shall we?
_________________________________

Ay. The lift again.
Okay, on my count this time, okay?
_________________________________

In three, two... Wait for me!
_________________________________

-(CRASHING)

-Good grief.
_________________________________

Kermit! There you are.

I've been looking for you everywhere!
_________________________________

So nice to see you, Veronica.
_________________________________

Who's hosting? Did you find a celebrity?
_________________________________

Uh, yeah, well, I've wanted to talk to

you about that, you see, because, uh...
_________________________________

Well, actually, uh, I'm kind of a celebrity.
_________________________________

You? (LAUGHS) No. Kermit, listen.
_________________________________

I will not air the show unless

you find a real celebrity host.
_________________________________

I will rerun Benson if I have to.
_________________________________

Yeah, you see, the thing is, Veronica,
_________________________________

that's kind of impossible

because the show's in 12 hours!
_________________________________

Twelve hours!
_________________________________

I might as well just go and ask Tex

Richman to give us the studio back!

_________________________________

I know Tink is my best friend.
_________________________________

We should just forgive each other.
_________________________________

Someone just needs

to take the first step.
_________________________________
OWL: Who?

_________________________________

Yeah, well, I think it should be Tink.
_________________________________

-Who?

-Tink.
_________________________________

She blamed me

for breaking the scepter.
_________________________________

-Who?

-Tink!
_________________________________

I know she's under a lot of pressure,
_________________________________

but she shouldn't

have treated me that way.
_________________________________

She should apologize.
_________________________________

Who?
_________________________________

Me.
_________________________________

Thank you so much, Mr. Owl.
_________________________________

You know what? You are truly

the wisest of all the creatures.
_________________________________

The fellows are making fun

of my kilt again.
_________________________________

-Who?

-The guys at the depot!
_________________________________

They keep calling it a skirt.

_________________________________
KERMIT: And the Muppets
are like a big family.
_________________________________

Well... And for us,
that theater is... Is like our home,
_________________________________

um, which is why, in conclusion,
_________________________________

we humbly ask that you

give us back our studio.
_________________________________

It would certainly mean a lot to us. Uh...
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

Well, Mr. The Frog, let me see.
_________________________________

(LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT PLAYING)
_________________________________
(SINGING) I'm Tex Richman
Mr. Texas Tea
_________________________________
People call me "Rich"
'Cause I got m' money
_________________________________
I got more cheddar
Than some super size nachos
_________________________________
Got cash flow like Robert's got dineros
_________________________________
I use more green than Vincent van Gogh
_________________________________
I make the baker bake
my bread outta dough
_________________________________
No, no, don't eat it though
It'll make you ill
_________________________________
There ain't no flour
In a hundred dollar bill
_________________________________
-He's Tex Richman
-Oh, yeah!
_________________________________
-Everybody listen
-Here we go now
_________________________________
Just how great it is to be him
_________________________________
Oh, it's great to be me, yeah!

_________________________________

Correct!

_________________________________
-He's the greatest
-Hey, sing it again!

_________________________________
-He's the greatest
-Ooh, it never gets old!
_________________________________
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see?
_________________________________
Little Muppets
It's time to give up your dream
_________________________________

The answer is no.
_________________________________

Well, uh, you coulda just said that.
_________________________________

-Contract.

-Contract.
_________________________________

Contract.
_________________________________

-Nicely done, sir.

-You see, Muppets,
_________________________________

according to this contract,
_________________________________

it's not just this studio

you lose the rights to tonight,
_________________________________

-it's the Muppet name itself.

-What?
_________________________________

And all characters

under the Muppet name.
_________________________________

Wait a second. What possible use
could you have for our names?
_________________________________

(BEEPING)
_________________________________

Told ya I'd be back.
_________________________________

Well, now I am
_________________________________

back.
_________________________________

And I see you've met Mr. Richman,
_________________________________

our new business partner.
_________________________________

The Moopets are a hard, cynical act
_________________________________

for a hard, cynical world.
_________________________________

Hey, Fozzie! I want you
to meet a friend of mine.
_________________________________

(MOOPETS LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Wocka wocka.

-You're relics, Muppets!
_________________________________

The world has moved on,

and no one cares about
_________________________________

your goody-goody, hippy-dippy, Julie

Andrews and Dom DeLuise hostin',
_________________________________

singin'-and-dancin' act anymore!

You're dead!
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-And I just come to bury you.
_________________________________

Now, get out of my office.
_________________________________

-What?

-What is that supposed to mean?
_________________________________

You said you were gonna
talk to the man!
_________________________________

Guys! Okay, so maybe

Kermit signed away the theater
_________________________________

and the Muppet name, but as long
as we have a celebrity host,
_________________________________

we can still pull off a heartwarming,
_________________________________

last-minute triumph, right, Kermit?
_________________________________

Uh, well, uh, actually I
don't see how we can, Fozzie.
_________________________________

-Huh?

-Guys, the show's in six hours,

_________________________________

and we're barely rehearsed,

and, well, uh, I...
_________________________________

I couldn't get us a celebrity host.
_________________________________

-Oh, no!

-What?
_________________________________

-(SIGHS)

-I'm afraid Tex Richman's right.
_________________________________

The world's moved on.
_________________________________

I'm sorry I dragged you guys
into this mess.
_________________________________
Kermit?

_________________________________

All right, listen up, you freaks!
_________________________________

I didn't come 5,000 miles
to not be on TV.
_________________________________

All we need is one stinkin' celebrity,

and by any means necessary.
_________________________________

Now, the frog's gone. We're
doing things my way from now on.
_________________________________

Let's move!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-(NEIGHING IN RAGE)

-(PASCAL SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
_________________________________

-(BLEATING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

-(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

-Excuse me. Sorry.
_________________________________

(FLYNN WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

(ALL LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(GASPING IN AWE)
_________________________________

Thank you!
_________________________________

(NICKERING)
_________________________________

It's for the lost princess.
_________________________________

(MUSICIANS PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

MAN: To the boats!
_________________________________
(CAR ALARM SOUNDING)
_________________________________

-Hey!

-Hi.
_________________________________

-How was your day?

-Oh, it was great.
_________________________________

I went to Guinness Book

of World Records... Alone.
_________________________________

Then Ripley's Believe It Or Not... Solo.
_________________________________

And then I ate lunch unaccompanied.
_________________________________

And then I walked back here...
Independently.
_________________________________

Listen, um, I got you these.
_________________________________

You know, to make up for the
other ones. The broken ones.
_________________________________

Thanks, sweetie.
_________________________________

-Listen, Gary.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

I was just wondering what

the plan was for dinner tonight.
_________________________________

Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like?
_________________________________

Okay. That's fine.
_________________________________

That's just fine.

That's, um, that's perfect.
_________________________________

I'm going to go for a walk.
_________________________________

Individually.
_________________________________

(NICKERS SOFTLY)
_________________________________

Hey, Max!
_________________________________

What? I bought them!
_________________________________

-Most of them.

-(NICKERS QUESTIONINGLY)
_________________________________

Where are we going?
_________________________________

Best day of your life?

I figured you should have a decent seat.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

You okay?
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) I'm terrified.
_________________________________

Why?
_________________________________

I've been looking out a window

for 18 years,
_________________________________

dreaming about what it might feel like

when those lights rise in the sky.
_________________________________

What if it's not everything

that I dreamed it would be?
_________________________________

It will be.
_________________________________

And what if it is? What do I do then?
_________________________________

That's the good part, I guess.

You get to go find a new dream.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: (SINGING) All those days

watching from the windows
_________________________________

All those years, outside looking in
_________________________________

All that time, never even knowing
_________________________________

Just how blind I've been
_________________________________

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight

_________________________________
Now I'm here, suddenly I see

_________________________________
Standing here, it's, oh, so clear

_________________________________
I'm where I'm meant to be

_________________________________
And at last I see the light

_________________________________
And it's like the fog has lifted

_________________________________
And at last I see the light

_________________________________
And it's like the sky is new

_________________________________
And it's warm and real and bright

_________________________________
And the world has somehow shifted

_________________________________
All at once, everything looks different

_________________________________
Now that I see you

_________________________________
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I have something for you, too.
_________________________________

I should have given it to you before,

but I was just scared.
_________________________________

And the thing is, I'm not scared

anymore. You know what I mean?
_________________________________

I'm starting to.
_________________________________
FLYNN: All those days

chasing down a daydream
_________________________________

All those years, living in a blur
_________________________________

All that time, never truly seeing
_________________________________

Things the way they were
_________________________________

Now she's here, shining in the starlight
_________________________________

Now she's here, suddenly I know
_________________________________

If she's here, it's crystal clear
_________________________________

I'm where I'm meant to go

_________________________________
BOTH: And at last I see the light

_________________________________
And it's like the fog has lifted
_________________________________

And at last I see the light

_________________________________
And it's like the sky is new

_________________________________
And it's warm and real and bright

_________________________________
And the world has somehow shifted

_________________________________
All at once, everything is different

_________________________________
Now that I see you

_________________________________
Now that I...

_________________________________
see you

_________________________________
Is everything okay?
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Oh, yes. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

Yes, of course. I just...
_________________________________

I'm sorry. Everything is fine.
_________________________________

There's just something

I have to take care of.
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

I'll be right back.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

It's all right, Pascal.
_________________________________
FLYNN: Ah! There you are!

_________________________________

I've been searching everywhere

for you guys since we got separated.
_________________________________

The sideburns are coming in nice, huh?

Got to be excited about that.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Anyhow, I just wanted to say

I shouldn't have split.
_________________________________

The crown is all yours. I'll miss you,

but I think it's for the
_________________________________

best.
_________________________________

Holding out on us again, eh, Rider?
_________________________________

-What?

-We heard you found something.
_________________________________

Something much more valuable

than a crown.
_________________________________

We want her instead.
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

I was starting to think you ran off

with the crown and left me.
_________________________________

He did.
_________________________________

What? No. He wouldn't.
_________________________________

See for yourself.
_________________________________

Eugene?
_________________________________

Eugene!
_________________________________

A fair trade. A crown

for the girl with the magic hair.
_________________________________

How much do you think someone would

pay to stay young and healthy forever?
_________________________________

No. Please. No!
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

-(THUDDING)

-(MEN GRUNTING)
_________________________________
GOTHEL: Rapunzel!

_________________________________

Mother?
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

Oh, my precious girl!
_________________________________

Mother.
_________________________________

Are you all right? Are you hurt?
_________________________________

-How did you...

-I was so worried about you, dear.
_________________________________

So I followed you.

And I saw them attack you and...
_________________________________

Oh, my. Let's go before they come to!
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

You were right, Mother.

You were right about everything.
_________________________________

I know, darling. I know.
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

-Walter, hey.

-Oh, Gary.
_________________________________

Oh, where have you been?
_________________________________
Look, I need you to help me
figure out a talent.

_________________________________

A talent for what?
_________________________________

For the show. Kermit asked me

to do an act in the show.
_________________________________

I... I could be a Muppet.
_________________________________

Wow. Wow, Walter, that's amazing.
_________________________________

Yeah, but, uh, I need to

figure out if I have a talent.
_________________________________

Well, um, you know what?
I'm sure you'll think of something,
_________________________________

but right now I actually...

I need your help. Um...
_________________________________

I'm starting to get the feeling that

Mary's upset with me about something,
_________________________________
and I don't know what, and I was hoping
maybe you would talk to her for me.
_________________________________

Gary, I'd love to help you out,
_________________________________

but I can't leave the theater now.

This is important.
_________________________________

Well, hold on a second.
I mean, my life is important, too.
_________________________________

Yeah, but the whole reason we came
here was to see the Muppets.
_________________________________

No, it wasn't!
The whole reason we came here
_________________________________

was to take a vacation where

I took Mary out to a fancy dinner
_________________________________

because it's our tenth

anniversary, and then...
_________________________________

-Walter, what day is today?

-Uh, Friday.
_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
_________________________________

This is bad.
Walter, this is really bad. I have to...
_________________________________

-Mary? Mary!

-Wait.
_________________________________

Gary, I need you.
_________________________________

Okay, is everybody ready?
_________________________________

Commence Operation

Celebri-nap. Masks on!
_________________________________

-ALL: Masks on!

-Except for moi.
_________________________________

Nothing covers this beautiful face.
_________________________________

-(GASPS) No maskin'?

-No maskin'.
_________________________________

MAN: Check the door on Stage 28.
_________________________________

MAN 2: I'm going over there now.
_________________________________

Ah! I told you, I'm not done
putting on my balls!
_________________________________

(ANIMAL PANTING)
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Animal.
_________________________________

What are you doin' here?
_________________________________

Acting. Natural.
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: Now!

_________________________________
Whoa!

_________________________________

-Hi-yah!

-Ah!
_________________________________
-Whoop!
-Whoa!

_________________________________

(GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

Hoo!
_________________________________

Hi-yah!
_________________________________

(BOAT HULL CREAKING)
_________________________________

(SCRAPING)
_________________________________

Look!
_________________________________

The crown!
_________________________________

(GROGGILY) Rapunzel.
_________________________________

-Rapunzel!

-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

-FLYNN: No! Wait, guys!

-(NICKERS QUESTIONINGLY)
_________________________________
FLYNN: Rapunzel!

_________________________________

Mary, surprise! I figured out

why you're mad... At me.
_________________________________
MARY: Gary, I've gone home.

_________________________________

I love you, but you need

to decide, are you a man
_________________________________

or a Muppet?
_________________________________

(SINGING) I reflect on my reflection
_________________________________

And I ask myself the question
_________________________________

What's the right direction to go?
_________________________________

I don't know
_________________________________

Am I a man
_________________________________

-Or am I a Muppet?

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

If I'm a Muppet
Then I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

-Very manly Muppet

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

-Muppet

-Or am I a man?
_________________________________

Am I a man?
_________________________________

If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
_________________________________
A Muppet of a man

_________________________________

I look into these eyes
_________________________________

And I don't recognize
_________________________________

The one I see inside
_________________________________

It's time for me to decide
_________________________________

Am I a man
_________________________________

Or am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

If I'm a Muppet
Well, I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

-Very manly Muppet

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

-Muppet

-Or am I a man?
_________________________________

Am I a man?
_________________________________

If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
_________________________________

A Muppet of a man
_________________________________

Here I go again
_________________________________

I'm always running out of time
_________________________________

I think I made up my mind
_________________________________

Now I understand who I am
_________________________________

I'm a man
_________________________________

I'm a Muppet
_________________________________

-I'm a Muppet of a man

-I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

I'm a Muppet-y man
_________________________________

I'm so sorry.
_________________________________

-Oh, Gary.

-Mary.
_________________________________

That's what I am
_________________________________

Hey, Tink, it's me.
_________________________________

Look, I know you're mad at me, okay,

but there's something I need to tell you.
_________________________________

Tink?
_________________________________

Anyone home?
_________________________________

The moonstone.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(DOOR OPENS)
_________________________________

Let's get this over with, Rider.
_________________________________

Where are we going?
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________
Kermit. We have our celebrity!

_________________________________

Mr. Jack Black has graciously

agreed to do the telethon!
_________________________________

Oh, my gosh, that's amazing.

Where is he?
_________________________________

-In the trunk.

-JACK: Get me outta here!
_________________________________

You kidnapped Jack Black?

That's illegal!
_________________________________

But, Kermit, what's more illegal,

briefly inconveniencing Jack Black,
_________________________________

or destroying the Muppets?
_________________________________

Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
_________________________________

Kermit, listen. Whatever

I may think of you right now,
_________________________________

these guys are counting on you.

You inspire them.
_________________________________

-What, to kidnap people?

-To work together.
_________________________________

-To kidnap people?
-Mr. The Frog, we all agreed
_________________________________
a celebrity is not a people.

_________________________________

And now that we have a celebrity,
the show's back on.
_________________________________

Come on, Kermit.

Don't let these guys down now.
_________________________________

All right. Well, what are you guys
still doing here, huh? It's showtime!
_________________________________

(ALL SHOUTING)
_________________________________
BOBO: Nicely done, sir. As usual.
TEX: En garde.

_________________________________

Oh. Mmm-hmm. Ow!
_________________________________

-Ow! Okay, very nice. Doh!

-(TEARING)
_________________________________

Halt! Point left!
_________________________________

Well done, sir. Thank you.

Thank you so much.
_________________________________

MAN: And coming up next on CDE,

The Muppet Telethon.
_________________________________

Kermit and friends host
a celebrity-studded gala,
_________________________________

with special guest Jack Black.

_________________________________
-Oh, he's pretty good.

-Ah!
_________________________________

-We're going to phase two.

-Yes, Mr. Richman.
_________________________________

Hmm... So do you think we're
working for the bad guy?

_________________________________

There. It never happened.
_________________________________

Now, wash up for dinner.

I'm making hazelnut soup.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) I really did try, Rapunzel.

I tried to warn you what was out there.
_________________________________

The world is dark and selfish and cruel.
_________________________________

If it finds

even the slightest ray of sunshine,
_________________________________

it destroys it.
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING SADLY)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

How did you know about her?

Tell me, now!
_________________________________

It wasn't us! It was the old lady!
_________________________________

Old lady?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Wait. No! Wait!
_________________________________

You don't understand!

She's in trouble! Wait!
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

What's going on up there?
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

Are you all right?
_________________________________

I'm the lost princess.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Please speak up, Rapunzel.

You know how I hate the mumbling.
_________________________________

(LOUDLY) I am the lost princess.
_________________________________

Aren't I?
_________________________________

Did I mumble, Mother?
_________________________________

Or should I even call you that?
_________________________________

Oh, Rapunzel,

do you even hear yourself?
_________________________________

Why would you ask

such a ridiculous question?
_________________________________

It was you! It was all you!
_________________________________

Everything I did was to protect you.
_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-Rapunzel!
_________________________________

I've spent my entire life

hiding from people
_________________________________

-who would use me for my power...

-Rapunzel!
_________________________________

...when I should have been hiding

from you!
_________________________________

Where will you go?

He won't be there for you.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: What did you do to him?

_________________________________
GOTHEL: That criminal is to be hanged

for his crimes.
_________________________________

-(GASPS) No.

-Now, now, it's all right.
_________________________________

Listen to me.

All of this is as it should be.
_________________________________

No! You were wrong about the world.
_________________________________

And you were wrong about me!
_________________________________

And I will never

let you use my hair again!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) You want me

to be the bad guy?
_________________________________

Fine, now I'm the bad guy.
_________________________________

-(HORN HONKING)

-(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

Hurry! The show starts in ten minutes!
_________________________________

-(ALL SHOUTING)

-Where did you learn to drive?
_________________________________

Hang on, everyone!
_________________________________

Come on, guys.

Okay, listen up, everybody! This is it!
_________________________________

Five minutes to curtain!
_________________________________

-Kermit?

-Uh, listen,
_________________________________

get ready for the opening number.
_________________________________

-Yes?

-I need to talk to you about my act.
_________________________________

Listen, Walter,

I know you're gonna be fine.
_________________________________

In fact, I'm sure you'll be great.

Scooter, who's up first?
_________________________________

-Come on, come on, come on!

-No...
_________________________________
-Fly in the arches!

-(CLUCKING)
_________________________________

Okay, first we have the opening theme.
_________________________________

Of course. Yeah.
_________________________________

Then you come out

and introduce Fozzie.
_________________________________

-Right.

-Then we have...
_________________________________

TV executive at six o'clock!
_________________________________

-What? Ah!

-The show is a disaster, frog!
_________________________________

-Veronica...

-Where's the audience?
_________________________________

I knew you guys

weren't popular anymore.
_________________________________

I should have trusted that chart.

There's no one here!
_________________________________

-What about Hobo Joe?

-Who?
_________________________________

Why does everybody

forget about Hobo Joe?
_________________________________

-Just a second. Scooter!

-Uh, yeah, chief?
_________________________________

Scooter,

did you hand out all those flyers?
_________________________________

Of course. Every last one!
_________________________________

Don't worry. We'll think of something!
_________________________________

-You better.

-Oh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

It's our last day, Blaze.

We gotta find that shipwreck soon.
_________________________________

BOTH: None shall pass

the secret troll bridge.
_________________________________

Troll bridge?

I thought it was "toll bridge."
_________________________________

-Look, fellas, I don't want any trouble.

-We are guardians of the secret...
_________________________________

-Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

-What?
_________________________________

It's my turn to give

the ominous warning, blockhead.
_________________________________

-Is not.

-Is too.
_________________________________

-Is not! Not! Not! Not! Not! Not!

-Is too! Is too! Too! Too! Too! Too! Too!
_________________________________

You did it last time.
_________________________________

That was over 300 years ago!
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

Go ahead.
_________________________________

We are guardians of the secret bridge.
_________________________________

Beat it before we grind your bones

to make our bed.
_________________________________

-Bread.

-What?
_________________________________

The expression is, "Grind your bones

"to make our bread," not "bed."
_________________________________

Oh? Really?
_________________________________

Who would want

to make bread out of bones?
_________________________________

Might break a tooth.
_________________________________

Well, who would want to sleep in a bed

made of bones?
_________________________________

It's hard on the back. It'll put a crick

in your neck, you knucklehead.
_________________________________

Lx-nay in front of the ictim-vay.
_________________________________

Gravel for brains.
_________________________________
TALL TROLL: Fuzz face.
SMALL TROLL: Thimble head.

_________________________________

-TALL TROLL: Stinky breath.

-Googly eyes.
_________________________________

-Waxy ears!

-Unibrow!
_________________________________

Excuse me. I need to get through.
_________________________________

BOTH: None shall pass!
_________________________________

Do you have any idea

what I've been through to get here?
_________________________________

I almost got attacked by bugs and bats
_________________________________

and got blown all over the place

by the wind,
_________________________________

and almost starved to death to find

a mirror that grants one last wish,
_________________________________

which I wouldn't have even needed
_________________________________

if Terence had taken his time

finding me a sharp thingy
_________________________________

instead of making me

break the moonstone.
_________________________________

And then he didn't even share

his pixie dust because he cares more
_________________________________

about the stupid rules

than he does about me...
_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.
_________________________________

-Who's Terence?

-Is he a friend of yours?
_________________________________

Well, yeah.
_________________________________

He was my best friend.
_________________________________

-You're not very nice.

-Hey, don't you judge me!
_________________________________

You've been yelling at each other

since I got here.
_________________________________

But he knows I don't mean it, don't you?
_________________________________

You old softie.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

-Like when I call you "wart face."

-Yes. Or when I call you "big nose."
_________________________________

-Booger breath.

-Stinky feet.
_________________________________
TALL TROLL: Weasel toes!
SMALL TROLL: Badger brain!

_________________________________

-Garden gnome!

-Garden gnome?
_________________________________

Oh, dear,

I don't know where that came from.
_________________________________

-I crossed the line.

-(CRYING) Say the magic words. Go on.
_________________________________

I'm sorry.
_________________________________

-Do you mean it?

-Absolutely.
_________________________________

-Do you feel it?

-Deeply.
_________________________________

Well, then, I forgive you.
_________________________________

-Friends?

-Friends.
_________________________________

-Come here, buddy.

-Pal!
_________________________________

-Amigo.

-Compadre.
_________________________________
SMALL TROLL: You're the best.
TALL TROLL: No, you.

_________________________________

-SMALL TROLL: No, you.

-No, you're right, I am the best.
_________________________________

-So now you think you're the best?

-I know I'm the best!
_________________________________

Now, don't you argue with me!
_________________________________
SMALL TROLL: Well, you're ugly

and stinky.
_________________________________
TALL TROLL: Really?

_________________________________

Blaze, listen, it's the ocean.
_________________________________

The ship that sunk but never sank.

Okay, Blaze, this is it.
_________________________________

We gotta find that mirror

and fix the moonstone. Let's go.
_________________________________

Yoo-hoo! You've got audience.
_________________________________

It's me! What am I, invisible?
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)

-Jack Black.
_________________________________

Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Black.
_________________________________

-Hi!

-Ah! Where am I?
_________________________________

Why am I so fancy? What are

you doing? You're ruining my look!
_________________________________

Yeah, well, we'll see

you out there! Good luck!

_________________________________

-You sure got nice teeth, Jack Black.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-We're here!
_________________________________

-Start the show!

-Ready for some kind of entertainment!
_________________________________

All right, good luck, everyone,

and cue Scooter.
_________________________________

Okay, we go live in three, two...
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

please welcome your host,
Kermit the Frog.
_________________________________

It's The Muppet Telethon,
_________________________________

with our very special guest,

Mr. Jack Black! Yay!
_________________________________

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) It's time to play the music
_________________________________

It's time to light the lights
_________________________________

It's time to meet the Muppets
on The Muppet Show tonight

_________________________________
It's time to put on makeup
_________________________________

It's time to dress up right
_________________________________

It's time to get things started
_________________________________

Why don't you get things started?
_________________________________

I always dreamed we'd be back here.
_________________________________

Dreams? Those were nightmares!
_________________________________

It's time to get things started

_________________________________
On the most sensational
_________________________________

Inspirational
Celebrational
_________________________________

Muppetational
This is what we call
_________________________________
The Muppet Show

_________________________________
-(HORN PLAYS TARZAN YELL)

-Ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

welcome to The Muppet Telethon!

_________________________________
We have Muppets standing by
to take your calls.
_________________________________

-Yes, we are.

-Hi. Hello.
_________________________________

Could I have a large pizza

with ham and...
_________________________________

Yes, uh, and, boy, do we have

a wonderful show for you
_________________________________

with our special guest, Mr. Jack Black!
_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

I'm being held captive by these weirdos!
_________________________________

Now you know how we've felt
for the past 40 years!
_________________________________

Somebody, anybody, please call

the police. This is real rope!
_________________________________

Man, this 3-D is incredible!
_________________________________

-This is real!
-KERMIT: Oh, and by the way, folks,
_________________________________
we have plenty of room
here in the audience,

_________________________________

so if you'd like to come down
_________________________________

and see the show live...
_________________________________

There's no audience in the theater.

Look, it's totally empty.
_________________________________

Poor Walter.
_________________________________

Maybe we should go back.
_________________________________

No way, Mary.

I've made my choice already.
_________________________________

I just sang a whole song about it.
_________________________________

I wanna stay here with you.
_________________________________

So thank you.
_________________________________

(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves

_________________________________

for the Great Gonzo's

most amazing feat ever.
_________________________________

-Head bowling.

-What? No!
_________________________________

-I have not signed off on this!

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Drumroll, please.

-(TINKLING)
_________________________________

And a one and a two and a three!
_________________________________

Uh-oh. Ahem! My fingers got stuck.
_________________________________

All part of the act, folks. Uh, stay tuned.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)
-Please, make this end! Please!

_________________________________
This is great. Call 'em.
_________________________________

(PHONE RINGS)
_________________________________

Hello?
_________________________________

You wanna give us some money? Um...
_________________________________

-Say yes!

-Um, yes! We will take that money!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Hey, guys, we got us some money!

_________________________________

Oh, yeah, tickets. Here we are.

Tickets. Thank you.
_________________________________

Uh, five dollars to show your seat.

It's up there somewhere.
_________________________________

-(GONZO SHOUTING)

-Okay, thank you, Gonzo.
_________________________________
Thank you very much.

_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,

we will see what happens with,
_________________________________

uh, head bowling

a little later in the show.
_________________________________

Up next is our furry funny man,

Mr. Fozzie Bear! Yay!
_________________________________

-(APPLAUSE)

-Thank you, thank you,
_________________________________
and thank you.
_________________________________

Boy, did I go to a bad
seafood place last night.
_________________________________

The catch of the day was salmonella.

Ah, wocka wocka!
_________________________________
-Okay.

-That joke's like 50 years old!
_________________________________

(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: So how 'bout those
shopping centers, huh?

_________________________________

You seen one, you seen a mall! Take it.
_________________________________

-(SOBBING) Make it stop!

-(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Wocka wocka wocka wocka!

JACK: Make it stop! No!

_________________________________

-We're not a team! I'm not with him!
-What is happening?

_________________________________

People are actually watching this?
_________________________________

Deadly! Bring the car!
_________________________________

(SIGHS) What am I gonna do? What

am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)

-Walter?
_________________________________

Sixty seconds till you're on, Walter.
_________________________________

You ready?
_________________________________

No. Guh! Yes, yes, yes...
_________________________________

Whoopi Goldberg?
_________________________________

Selena Gomez? And... Uh, hi there.
_________________________________

Yeah, look, somebody said there

might be a career opportunity here,
_________________________________

-and something about saving a theater.

-Yes, yes, of course.
_________________________________

I don't really know who you guys are.
_________________________________

My agent just told me to show up.
_________________________________

That's great.
_________________________________

Are you one of the

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
_________________________________

Yes, I am, and let me
show you how you can help.

_________________________________

And don't worry. It's just your
one shot to go on live TV
_________________________________
before millions of people
to prove you have what it takes
_________________________________
to become one of the Muppets.
_________________________________

-Good luck.

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Up next, folks, I am proud to present

a brand-new act to the show.
_________________________________

Introducing Walter.
_________________________________

-(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)

-(INHALES)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMS)

-(CRASHING)
_________________________________
-FOZZIE: That's not good.

-Uh, it appears that, uh,
_________________________________
Walter has, uh, uh,
stepped out, so it's, uh...
_________________________________

Well, it's back to the days of
yore down at the old barbershop.

_________________________________

-(SINGING) Hello

-(SINGING) Hello
_________________________________

-(SINGING) Hello

-(SINGING) Mee-mee
_________________________________

Oh! (BABBLING)
_________________________________

Mee-mee
_________________________________

Hello

_________________________________
Oh, no! It's a barbershop quartet!

Get me out of here!
_________________________________

(ALL VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

Wait a minute. What are you doing?
_________________________________

-Is that Nirvana?

-With the lights out
_________________________________

Stop it! Stop!
_________________________________

-Here we are now

-Entertain us
_________________________________

You're ruining one of the
greatest songs of all time!
_________________________________

-Mee mee mee mee

-Here we are now
_________________________________

-Entertain us

-Careful around the ears!
_________________________________

-An albino

-A mosquito
_________________________________

-Mee mee mee mo mo

-Ah!
_________________________________

Mee mee mee mee mee mee
_________________________________

Hello, how low?
_________________________________

Yeah
_________________________________

-Yeah

-Ow, that was hot!
_________________________________

Hey! What's going on here?

Why is my body so big?
_________________________________

What'd you do to my voice?

I sound like a chipmunk!
_________________________________

Wait a second.

Did you guys shrink my head?
_________________________________
KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen,

Jack Black!
_________________________________

Nice work, everybody.

Chickens, you're up next!
_________________________________

It's going rather nicely.

We might just make this.
_________________________________

And now I am
pleased and proud to present
_________________________________

those princesses of poultry,

Camilla and friends!
_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CLUCKING MELODICALLY
TO TUNE OF FORGET YOU)
_________________________________

Let's hear it for Camilla

and her farmyard friends!
_________________________________

No, I... I don't know

why I'm not hosting this.
_________________________________

So remember, folks, keep on calling
_________________________________

and you'll help us reach our goal
of ten million dollars by midnight.
_________________________________
And if...
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-Oh, dear.
_________________________________
Ladies and gentlemen, don't be alarmed.

_________________________________

We will get this sorted out just
_________________________________
as soon as we can. Scooter!

_________________________________

(FIZZLING)
_________________________________

Well, that's that. Nice try, Muppets!
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-(GROWLING)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Uh, Kermit,
_________________________________
how are we going to raise the rest
of the money with no electricity?

_________________________________
KERMIT: All right,

calm down, everybody.
_________________________________

-Is everybody okay?

-ALL: Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
_________________________________

Well, we can't do the show

without power.
_________________________________

-Huh. Anybody got any bright ideas?

-Not now, Fozzie.
_________________________________

Ten-gauge gator grip.
_________________________________

I love it when you talk shop.
_________________________________

Why couldn't the mirror

be in a bunny-filled meadow?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(MIMICKING ROAR)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(ECHOING)
_________________________________

Blaze!
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(FLUTTERING)
_________________________________

Who's that? Who's there?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) Look, Blaze.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Ah!
_________________________________

What do you think? Too big?
_________________________________

It's gotta be in here somewhere, Blaze.

Come on. Help me look.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

It's real.
_________________________________

Okay. Deep breath.
_________________________________

Clear your mind.

Only get one shot at this. Here it goes.
_________________________________

I wish... I wish...
_________________________________

I wish...
_________________________________

Blaze, I wish you'd be quiet

for one minute!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

No, no, no, no! No!

That one didn't count!
_________________________________

I take it back.

Please, please. I take it back!
_________________________________

That wasn't my wish. Please!
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Blaze, look what you've done!
_________________________________

This mirror was my last chance.

This is all your fault!
_________________________________

(SNIFFLING)
_________________________________

I'm sorry, Blaze. It's not your fault.
_________________________________

It's mine.
_________________________________

It's all mine.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

I wish Terence were here.
_________________________________

I wish we were still friends.
_________________________________

We are friends, Tink.
_________________________________

Terence.
_________________________________

-I am so sorry.

-TERENCE: I forgive you.
_________________________________

I miss you so much.
_________________________________

I miss you, too. But, Tink, why...
_________________________________

Why didn't you tell me

about the moonstone?
_________________________________

I didn't want anyone to know.
_________________________________

I didn't think

I needed any help, Terence.
_________________________________

I was wrong. I wish you were here.
_________________________________

-I am here.

-I know you are.
_________________________________

But, I mean, really here, with me.
_________________________________

I am with you.
_________________________________

No. I mean here, Terence,

right next to me.
_________________________________

I'm standing behind you.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Terence!
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

I'm so sorry, Terence.

I know, I was so wrong...
_________________________________

Hey, hey. I'm sorry, too.
_________________________________

You know, you were under

a lot of pressure... Whoa! Hey.
_________________________________

-Who's this?

-This is Blaze.
_________________________________

He's been a big help

in some tough spots.
_________________________________

-Well, it's a pleasure to meet you.

-How did you...
_________________________________

I flew all night and all day over the sea,
_________________________________

and just when I was gonna

run out of dust,
_________________________________

I stumbled

into that flying machine of yours.
_________________________________

That thing is awesome!
_________________________________

I only had a pinch of dust left.

It got me all the way here.
_________________________________

You found my balloon?
_________________________________

But where did you even get the dust

to make it this far?
_________________________________

I, you know, borrowed a little extra.
_________________________________

-You broke the rules for me?

-Hey, I knew you needed my help.
_________________________________

(CHITTERING)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
TERENCE: Run!

_________________________________

Blaze!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(BOTH GROANING)
_________________________________

(PIANO PLAYING)
_________________________________
TERENCE: Hold on!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(TERENCE WHOOPS)
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-That was kind of fun.

-What?
_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-Ahem.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

-La la la la la la la

-Mee mee mee mee mee
_________________________________
TEX: What? How'd they
get the power back?

_________________________________

Mm-mm-mm.
_________________________________

We're gonna have to get up on that roof
_________________________________
and shut 'em down for good!

Bolt cutters!
_________________________________

Bolt cutters.
_________________________________

Deadly! You come with me.
_________________________________

That's it. (GROWLS)
_________________________________

-(GROWLS)

-To the end of the Muppets!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Deadly! What are you doing?
_________________________________

Enough!
_________________________________

Just because I have a terrifying name
_________________________________

and an evil English accent,
_________________________________

does not preclude the
fact that in my heart,
_________________________________

I am a Muppet, not a Moopet!
_________________________________

Looks like it's I who
will have the last laugh!
_________________________________

-What does that mean?

-It's an idiom, you idiot,
_________________________________

because you cannot laugh! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

-(CRASHING)

-Oopsie.
_________________________________

-(DEADLY LAUGHS)
-Deadly.

_________________________________

Now that's a maniacal laugh for you!
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

There's our way out.
_________________________________

(TERENCE GROANING)
_________________________________

Terence, buy me some time.

Come on, Blaze.
_________________________________

Back, you dirty rats!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(ROARING)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(ROARING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Are they gone?

-They're gone.
_________________________________

(DRONING)
_________________________________

Let's go.
_________________________________

Come here, you vicious monster.
_________________________________

(BOTH GROANING)
_________________________________

Hey, Gary, Mary, how'd
you guys get here so fast?
_________________________________

We traveled by map.

We thought it'd be quicker.
_________________________________

Hey, I'm sorry I bailed. I just...
_________________________________

I realized you don't let
the most important person
_________________________________
in your world slip away.
_________________________________

-Hey, Scooter?

-Yeah?
_________________________________

Uh, could you do me a favor

and take over hosting duty?
_________________________________

But, chief, I don't go onstage.
_________________________________

Well, just do what I do.

Pretend that the audience is naked.
_________________________________

Yeah, but, I... Yeah-ha-ha-ha.
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Uh, Miss Piggy?
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

Uh... Ha-ha. You are all naked.
_________________________________
Uh... Well, sorta.

_________________________________

Okay. Great!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

please welcome, a real hero...
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: You saved it?
_________________________________

After all this time?
_________________________________

Oh, Kermie.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT, STUTTERS)

I guess I'm not that good
_________________________________

at saying this kind of stuff.
_________________________________

-Yes, Kermie?

-Well...
_________________________________

over the last week, um, I realized that...

_________________________________

I... I miss you.
_________________________________

And I need you.
_________________________________

Uh, and maybe you don't need the...
_________________________________

The whole world to love you.
_________________________________

Maybe you just need one person.
_________________________________

It's time for our song,
_________________________________

and if we don't raise the money tonight,
_________________________________

it might be the
last time we sing together.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-And...
_________________________________
Well, are you ready?
_________________________________

-Oh, Kermie.

-Hmm?
_________________________________

(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

(BANJO PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Why are there so many
_________________________________

Songs about rainbows?

_________________________________
And what's on the other side?

_________________________________
Rainbows are visions
_________________________________

But only illusions
_________________________________

And rainbows have nothing to hide

_________________________________
So we've been told

_________________________________
And some choose to believe it

_________________________________
I know they're wrong
Wait and see

_________________________________
Someday we'll find it
_________________________________

The rainbow connection
_________________________________

The lovers, the dreamers and me

_________________________________
All of us under its spell

_________________________________
We know that it's probably magic

_________________________________
Have you been half asleep
_________________________________

And have you heard voices?

_________________________________
I've heard them calling my name

_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________

-Hey, these are yours, man.

-Huh?
_________________________________

I kept 'em for ya.
_________________________________

-Drum.

-No drum.
_________________________________

-Drum!

-No drum!
_________________________________

-Drum! Drum!

-No drum! No drum!
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

You know what to do.
_________________________________

I've heard it too many times
to ignore it
_________________________________

It's something that
I'm supposed to be
_________________________________

Someday we'll find it

_________________________________
The rainbow connection

_________________________________
The lovers
The dreamers and me

_________________________________
(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

Drum! Drum, drum! Drum!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You still got it, man!
_________________________________

-Piggy?

-Hmm?
_________________________________

Will you stay... For me?
_________________________________

-For you, Kermie?

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Of course!
_________________________________

Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

(TICKING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

What's this?
_________________________________

Open up!
_________________________________

-What's the password?

-What?
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLING) Nope.

-Open this door!
_________________________________

Not even close!
_________________________________

You have three seconds! One...
_________________________________

Two...
_________________________________

Three.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Frying pans! Who knew, right?
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

(ALL YELLING)
_________________________________

(BELLOWING)
_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(SOLDIERS YELLING)
_________________________________

-Head down.

-Head down.
_________________________________

-Arms in.

-Arms in.
_________________________________

-Knees apart.

-Knees apart. Knees apart?
_________________________________

Why do I need

to keep my knees apart...
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

(NICKERS)
_________________________________

Max! You brought them here?
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

No, really. Thank you.
_________________________________

I feel maybe this whole time,
_________________________________

we've just been misunderstanding

one another,
_________________________________

and we're really just...
_________________________________

You're right, we should go.
_________________________________

(SOLDIERS YELLING)
_________________________________

Max?
_________________________________

Max!
_________________________________

-Max!

-(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Okay, Max.

Let's see how fast you can run.
_________________________________

Uh, thank you, everybody.
_________________________________

Uh, thank you, all.
_________________________________

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

it's almost midnight and we haven't

quite reached our target yet,
_________________________________

but, uh, if you'll all just stick around,
_________________________________

we'll be right back with our final act.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: The Muppet Telethon

will return after these messages.

_________________________________
(CHEERING)
_________________________________

Walter? Walter, where are you, buddy?
_________________________________

Listen, everybody, the show ran short,
_________________________________
and we don't have
anything else planned.
_________________________________

We need one last act to bring us home.
_________________________________

I'm gonna go check on Jack Black

and see if he has any ideas.
_________________________________

You guys see if you can
come up with something.
_________________________________

We have two minutes! Two minutes!
_________________________________

-Think, think, think!

-FOZZIE: What am I thinking?
_________________________________

Walter. Walt!
_________________________________

-Walter!

-Gary?
_________________________________

-Wha... You came back.

-Walter.
_________________________________

What are you doing down here?
_________________________________

They just need one more act.
_________________________________
You gotta get out there
and help those guys.
_________________________________

I can't. What if people laugh at me? I...
_________________________________

I'd rather go back home to Smalltown.

With you.
_________________________________

Look, Walter, you're my brother,
_________________________________

and I'm always gonna love you,
_________________________________

but you belong here, with these guys.
_________________________________

Hey, you're the one

who got Kermit to do this.
_________________________________

You're the one who brought

everyone here together.
_________________________________

You always believe in other people,

but that's easy.
_________________________________

Sooner or later, you gotta

believe in yourself, too,
_________________________________

because that's what growing up is.
_________________________________

It's becoming who you want to be.
_________________________________

You have to try.
_________________________________
Please, Walter.
_________________________________

You're my hero.
_________________________________

(MURMURING)
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

Okay, Jack Black's got nothing.

What did you guys come up with?
_________________________________

Uh, Bunsen can set Beaker on fire.
_________________________________

No, no, no, we can't do that.
_________________________________

I could break out the fart shoes.
_________________________________
No, no, no, that will never work!

_________________________________

We're back in three, two...
_________________________________

-(BELL DINGS)

-Oh, no!

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(WHISTLING MOURNFUL TUNE)
_________________________________

It's Walter.
_________________________________

-(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)

-(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

-(SONG ENDS)

-(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________
He's all grown up.
_________________________________

Oh, that was wonderful!

_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________
KERMIT:

Ladies and gentlemen, Walter!
_________________________________

It looks like we're going
to get our studio back!
_________________________________

This just in, the Muppets are
about to take back their studio.
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

Rapunzel, let down your hair!
_________________________________

Rapunzel,

I thought I'd never see you again.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(SCREAMING MUFFLED WARNING)
_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-(GROANS)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED SCREAM)
_________________________________

Now look what you've done, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Oh, don't worry, dear.

Our secret will die with him.
_________________________________

(MUFFLED PROTESTS)
_________________________________
GOTHEL: And as for us...

_________________________________

(SCOFFS)
_________________________________

We are going where no one

will ever find you again.
_________________________________

(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(SNARLING)
_________________________________

-(GOTHEL GRUNTS)

-(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Rapunzel, really!
_________________________________

Enough already! Stop fighting me!
_________________________________

No! I won't stop!
_________________________________

For every minute of the rest of my life,

I will fight!
_________________________________

I will never stop trying

to get away from you!
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

But if you let me save him,

I will go with you.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING) No! No, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

I'll never run. I'll never try to escape.
_________________________________

Just let me heal him

and you and I will be together,
_________________________________

forever, just like you want.
_________________________________

Everything will be the way it was.
_________________________________

I promise.
_________________________________

Just like you want.
_________________________________

(ENUNCIATING) Just let me heal him.
_________________________________

-(CAR STARTS)

-(TIRES SCREECH)
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Help! I've been
mugged. Alerting authorities.

_________________________________

-RECORDED VOICE: We're sorry...

-What happened? Hello?
_________________________________

-Hello?

-Guys, my phone is dead.
_________________________________

News flash! My phone is also dead.

Repeat, my phone is also dead.
_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

I did it. (GRUNTS) I beat you.
_________________________________

Game over, Kermit. You lost.
_________________________________

-Aw.

-Chicky!
_________________________________

Too late, Muppets. I won!

Turn that thing off!
_________________________________

The show is over!

_________________________________
-(AUDIENCE GASPS)

-Ah! But we were so close!
_________________________________

-(WINDING DOWN)

-(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

-(ALL GROAN)

-Or not.
_________________________________

It kinda makes me feel better, honestly.
_________________________________

I mean, we were nowhere close at all.
_________________________________

You artists formerly

known as the Muppets
_________________________________

are standing on private property.
_________________________________

My private property.
_________________________________

And I'm telling you to leave. Now!
_________________________________

-Ooh.

-(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

In case you get any ideas

about following us.
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

Eugene!
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

I'm so sorry.

Everything is going to be okay, though.
_________________________________

No, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

I promise. You have to trust me.

Come on. Just breathe.
_________________________________

I can't let you do this.
_________________________________

And I can't let you die.
_________________________________

But if you do then you will die.
_________________________________

Hey. It's going to be all right.
_________________________________

(WEAKLY) Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Wait.
_________________________________

Eugene...
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

(BLUBBERING)
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

What have you done?

What have you done?
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

No! No. No!
_________________________________

(SOBBING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

No, no, no. Eugene.
_________________________________

(COUGHS)
_________________________________

No! Look at me. I'm right here.

Don't go. Stay with me.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
_________________________________

Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

Rapunzel.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(WEAKLY) You were my new dream.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SADLY)
_________________________________

And you were mine.
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

He's right, everybody.
_________________________________

He won. We gotta go.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(FARTING NOISES)
_________________________________
ROWLF: Ah, not now, Fozzie.

_________________________________
(FART NOISES CEASE)
_________________________________

-I can't believe this.

-I know.
_________________________________
Well, that's that.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Heal what has been hurt

_________________________________
Change the Fates' design

_________________________________
Save what has been lost

_________________________________
Bring back what once was mine

_________________________________
What once was mine

_________________________________
(SOBBING)
_________________________________

This isn't right.
_________________________________
It can't end like this.
_________________________________

But what can we do?

_________________________________

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Listen, everybody,
_________________________________
we've got nothing to be ashamed of.
And you know why?
_________________________________

Well, because thanks
to Walter here, we tried.
_________________________________

And if we failed, we failed together,
_________________________________

and to me, that's not failing at all.
_________________________________

And I don't care what anybody says.
_________________________________

And I don't care if no one

believes in us, because I believe.
_________________________________

-I believe in you.

-Huh? Ah.
_________________________________

-And you.

-Me?
_________________________________

And you.
_________________________________

You know, what's important

isn't this building or a name.
_________________________________

It's each other. So I say, fine,
_________________________________

let's just start at the bottom
and work our way back up to the top.
_________________________________

-ALL: Yeah.

-Let's all walk out through these doors
_________________________________

with our heads held high. As a family.
_________________________________

-Because that's what we are.

-ALL: Yeah. Yeah.
_________________________________
(SIGHING)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

(GASPS) Eugene?
_________________________________

Did I ever tell you

I've got a thing for brunettes?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Eugene!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-(CHEERING)

-(GASPING)
_________________________________

(CHANTING)

Muppets, Muppets, Muppets!
_________________________________

(CHANTING)
Muppets, Muppets, Muppets!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) All right.
_________________________________

-Wow.

-Wow.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-Hey, where's Walter?
_________________________________

See? Your fans, they love you guys!
_________________________________

Hey, Walter. Aren't you gonna join us?
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Yeah! Come on!
ROWLF: Come on, Walter!

_________________________________

-Come on, Walter!

-Yes. Come!
_________________________________

What're you waiting for, buddy?

Get over there.
_________________________________

Yeah, go ahead.
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

CROWD: (CHANTING) Muppets!
Muppets! Muppets!

_________________________________
TERENCE: Now, how are we

gonna fly this thing?
_________________________________

I used the last of my dust

getting it here.
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: Well, with any luck,

my pixie-dust bag
_________________________________

should be around here somewhere.
_________________________________

Is it enough?
_________________________________

-Yeah, it's enough. Anchors up.

-Aye-aye, Captain.
_________________________________

Just a little bit of pixie dust up front

will get this baby going.
_________________________________

That should do the trick.
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: Wow.

_________________________________

I guess it pays

to have a dust-keeper fairy around.
_________________________________

I'm telling you, we just might make it.
_________________________________

Hey, are you okay?
_________________________________

What's gonna happen

when we get back?
_________________________________

Would you happen to have

an extra moonstone?
_________________________________

I don't know if it's gonna help,

but I brought this.
_________________________________

My scepter.
_________________________________

Hey, I've got an idea.
_________________________________

-Terence?

-Right. Right.
_________________________________

No, I know. You need your space.
_________________________________

No. I can't do this without you.

Would you help me?
_________________________________

Sure.
_________________________________

If I turn this, then this can go in here.
_________________________________

Wait a second.

You think this would work?
_________________________________

-Yeah. Yeah!

-Okay, okay.
_________________________________

Set it at a 30-degree angle
_________________________________

so that the reflective qualities

of the moonstone...
_________________________________
TINKER BELL: Are magnified in relation

to the moonbeam rays.
_________________________________

Yes! You're a genius.
_________________________________

-I almost got it. I just need...

-Like a sharp thingy?
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

Excuse me, Blaze.

_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
_________________________________

That's a bit heavier than I remember.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

1,492, 1,493...
_________________________________

No, no, no.
_________________________________

It's all right.

Tink will be here any second now.
_________________________________

The blue harvest moon is high.
_________________________________

The moonbeams

are almost at their mark.
_________________________________

This is a disaster.
_________________________________

Fairy Mary, where is Tinker Bell?
_________________________________

-I don't know!

-You...
_________________________________
QUEEN CLARION:

Minister, Fairy Mary?
_________________________________

BOTH: Yes, Your Highness?
_________________________________

Is anything the matter?
_________________________________

-Yes...

-No, Your Highness.
_________________________________

-Where is Tinker Bell?

-Well, we've been...
_________________________________

SPARROWMAN: Whoa! Look up there!
_________________________________

WOMAN: Tinker Bell!
_________________________________

Hi, everybody!
_________________________________

-Wow!

-Wow!
_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Hi! Queen Clarion, Fairy Mary,

I made it!
_________________________________

-There she is.

-Now that's an entrance.
_________________________________

Right in the nick of time.
_________________________________

Your Highness.
_________________________________

Tinker Bell,

at the beginning of the season,
_________________________________

you were entrusted

with a great responsibility.
_________________________________

Where is the fall scepter?
_________________________________

There were complications,
_________________________________

but it's ready now, Your Highness.
_________________________________

This way, dear.
_________________________________

Fairies of Pixie Hollow,

I present the autumn scepter.
_________________________________

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
_________________________________

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING IN HORROR)
_________________________________

The moonstone! One, two...
_________________________________

(STUTTERING)
_________________________________

No, no, no. Don't worry, Fairy Mary.

Just... Just wait.
_________________________________

Wait, wait.
_________________________________

Come on, come on.
_________________________________

Please work. Please work. Please work.
_________________________________

Your Majesty, I've never seen

this much blue pixie dust before.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) Indeed.
_________________________________

It's at least a million smidges.

Maybe more.
_________________________________

-It's more.

-Yeah. Much more.
_________________________________

This is amazing!
_________________________________

(WHOOPING)
_________________________________

-Only Tinker Bell.

-Pretty good, huh?
_________________________________

Come on, girls. It's show time.
_________________________________
QUEEN CLARION: Fairies

of Pixie Hollow,
_________________________________

we have celebrated this revelry

without interruption for centuries.
_________________________________

Tonight, I believe,

is our finest revelry ever,
_________________________________

thanks to one very special fairy,

Tinker Bell.
_________________________________

And her friend, Terence.
_________________________________

-And her new friend.

-Blaze.
_________________________________

Yes, of course. Blaze.

We owe them all our thanks.
_________________________________

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

-I'm so proud of you.

-Thank you, Fairy Mary.
_________________________________

What made you think

of breaking the moonstone
_________________________________

into all those tiny little pieces?
_________________________________

Genius!
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

On your lead, my dear.
_________________________________

All right, everyone.

To the Pixie Dust Tree!
_________________________________

(IF YOU BELIEVE PLAYING)
_________________________________

That's our cue!
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

There are the bubbles. Hit it, Clank.
_________________________________

It worked, Bobble! It worked!
_________________________________

Aye, it certainly did.
_________________________________

(SINGING) To believe in who you are
_________________________________

Who you were always meant to be

_________________________________
To you open up your heart

_________________________________
Then you set your spirit free

_________________________________
In this time of the season

_________________________________
Every leaf on every tree

_________________________________
Start to shine

_________________________________
Come and see

_________________________________
Take my hand

_________________________________
Come with me

_________________________________
And fly

_________________________________
NARRATOR: "The greatest treasures

are not gold

_________________________________
"Nor jewels, nor works of art

_________________________________
"They cannot be held in your hands

They're held within your heart

_________________________________
"For worldly things will fade away

as seasons come and go
_________________________________

"But the treasure of true friendship

will never lose its glow"
_________________________________
FLYNN: Well, you can imagine

what happened next.
_________________________________

The kingdom rejoiced,

for their lost princess had returned.
_________________________________

The party lasted an entire week, and

honestly I don't remember most of it.
_________________________________

Dreams came true all over the place.
_________________________________

That guy went on to become the most

famous concert pianist in the world,
_________________________________

if you can believe it!
_________________________________

And this guy?

He eventually found true love.
_________________________________

As for this guy, I assume he's happy.

He's never told me otherwise.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS SHARPLY)
_________________________________

Thanks to Maximus,
_________________________________

crime in the kingdom

disappeared almost overnight.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

As did most of the apples.
_________________________________

Pascal never changed.
_________________________________

At last Rapunzel was home.

And she finally had a real family.
_________________________________

She was a princess worth waiting for.
_________________________________

Beloved by all, she led her kingdom

with all the grace and wisdom
_________________________________

that her parents did before her.
_________________________________

And, as for me,

I started going by Eugene again,
_________________________________

stopped thieving

and turned it all around.
_________________________________

But I know what the big question is.
_________________________________

Did Rapunzel and I ever get married?
_________________________________

I'm pleased to tell you
_________________________________

that after years and years

of asking and asking and asking...
_________________________________

I finally said yes.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: (SCOLDING) Eugene!
FLYNN: All right, I asked her.

_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: And we're living

happily ever after.
_________________________________
FLYNN: Yes, we are.

_________________________________

-(PLAYING PIANO)

-Hmm? Oh.
_________________________________

How charming. A finale. Hmm.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Everything is great
_________________________________

Everything is grand

_________________________________
We've got the whole wide world
in the palm of our hand

_________________________________
Everything is perfect

_________________________________
It's falling into place

_________________________________
I can't seem to wipe
this smile off my face

_________________________________
Life's a happy song

_________________________________
When there's someone by your side
_________________________________
To sing along

_________________________________
Yeah!
_________________________________
Everything is great
_________________________________

And we'll live happily ever after
_________________________________

And we'll keep giving the world
_________________________________
-The third greatest gift

-Laughter

_________________________________
Ze movie's almost over
_________________________________

It's time to say, "So long"
_________________________________

Will you please stop singing?
_________________________________

You've already sung this song
_________________________________

Life's a happy song
_________________________________
When there's someone by your side

_________________________________
To sing along

_________________________________
We're happier when you don't sing.
_________________________________

We've got everything that we need
_________________________________

We can be whatever we want to be
_________________________________

Nothing we can't do
_________________________________

The skies are blue
When it's me and you
_________________________________
And you and you
_________________________________

And you and you and you
_________________________________

Well, all of you. Yeah!
_________________________________

(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________
JACK: Hey, remember me?
I'm Jack Black!

_________________________________

No, what are you doing? Whoa, whoa.

No, no, no. Put me back down.
_________________________________

MAN: All hail the Hobo King.
_________________________________
What are you doing? This is insane.
_________________________________

We've got everything that we need
_________________________________

We can be whatever we want to be
_________________________________

Nothing that we can't do
_________________________________

The skies are blue
When it's me and you and you and you
_________________________________

Life's a happy song
_________________________________
When there's someone
by your side to sing
_________________________________
-Life's a happy song

-Mee mee mee mee mee

_________________________________

Life's a happy song
When there's someone
_________________________________

-Someone

-Someone
_________________________________

By your side
_________________________________

To sing along
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

I just have one question

I need to ask you.
_________________________________

Will you, Mary, marry me?
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

-(SINGING) Mahna mahna

-Do doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-You're breaking the law!
_________________________________

I own that name.
_________________________________

Hey, guys, I think I've finally
worked out how to... Whoa!
_________________________________

"Oil" bet that hurt. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
NEWSMAN: This just in. Richman

gives back Muppet Theater and name.
_________________________________

Change of heart.

Nothing to do with head injury.

_________________________________
-Mahna mahna

-Do doo doo doo doo

_________________________________
-Mahna mahna

-Doo doo doo doo

_________________________________
-Mahna mahna

-Do doo...
_________________________________
Hey, Richman! We had a deal!
_________________________________

-Yeah, for reallies!

-Yeah, you owe us money, man.
_________________________________

What the wocka?
_________________________________

(GRUNTING MELODICALLY)
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Do doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Doo doo doo doo

_________________________________
NEWSMAN: Breaking news!
_________________________________

"Miss Piggy promises

to stay out of the limelight.
_________________________________

Kermit says,
'We need some time alone.'"
_________________________________

-Oh, Kermie, I'm so happy.

-What are you talking about?
_________________________________

Let's share our happiness with 10 of
the world's largest news publications.
_________________________________

-How's the quiet life, Kermit?

-Piggy, froggy!
_________________________________

How are you enjoying your time alone?
_________________________________

Piggy!
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Do doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

-Mahna mahna

-Do doo doo doo doo
_________________________________

Doo doo doo Doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo

_________________________________
Mahna mahna
_________________________________

(GIFT OF A FRIEND PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Sometimes you think
you'll be fine by yourself
_________________________________

'Cause a dream
is a wish that you make all alone

_________________________________
It's easy to feel like you don't need help
_________________________________

But it's harder to walk on your own
_________________________________

You'll change inside
_________________________________

When you realize
_________________________________

The world comes to life
_________________________________

And everything's all right
_________________________________

From beginning to end
_________________________________

When you have a friend
by your side
_________________________________

That helps you to find

_________________________________
The beauty you are
when you open your heart
_________________________________

And believe in
_________________________________

The gift of a friend
_________________________________

The gift of a friend
_________________________________

Someone who knows
when your lost and you're scared
_________________________________

There through
the highs and the lows
_________________________________

Someone to count on
Someone who cares
_________________________________

Beside you wherever you'll go
_________________________________

You'll change inside
_________________________________

When you realize
_________________________________

The world comes to life
_________________________________

And everything's all right
_________________________________

From beginning to end
_________________________________

When you have a friend
by your side
_________________________________

That helps you to find
_________________________________

The beauty you are
when you open your heart
_________________________________

And believe in
_________________________________

The gift of a friend
_________________________________

And when your hope crashes down
Shattering to the ground
_________________________________

You'll feel all alone
_________________________________

When you don't know which way to go
_________________________________

And there's no signs leading you on
_________________________________

You're not alone
_________________________________

The world comes to life
_________________________________

And everything's all right
_________________________________

From beginning to end
_________________________________

When you have a friend
_________________________________

By your side
_________________________________

That helps you to find
_________________________________

The beauty you are
when you open your heart
_________________________________

You believe in
_________________________________

When you believe in
_________________________________

When you believe in
_________________________________

The gift of a friend
_________________________________

(SOMETHING THAT I WANT PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) She's a girl with the 
best intentions
_________________________________

He's a man of his own invention
_________________________________

She looked out the window

_________________________________
He walked out the door

_________________________________
But she followed him and he said

_________________________________
'Watcha lookin' for?'

_________________________________
She said I want something that I want

_________________________________
Something that I tell myself I need

_________________________________
Something that I want

_________________________________
And I need everything I see

_________________________________
Something that I want
_________________________________

Something that I tell myself I need
_________________________________

Something that I want
_________________________________

And I need everything I see, yeah...
_________________________________

He's been living in a pure illusion

_________________________________
She's gonna come 
to her own conclusion

_________________________________
Right when you think you know 
what to say

_________________________________
Someone comes along
_________________________________

And shows you a brand new way
_________________________________

She said I want something that I want
_________________________________

Something that I tell myself I need
_________________________________

Something that I want
_________________________________

And I need everything I see
_________________________________

Something that I want

_________________________________
Something that I tell myself I need

_________________________________
Something that I want

_________________________________
And I need everything 'cause

_________________________________
It's so easy to make believe

_________________________________
It seems you're living in a dream

_________________________________
Don't you see that what you need

_________________________________
Is standing in front of you

_________________________________
I want something that I want

_________________________________
Something that I tell myself I need
_________________________________

Something that I want
_________________________________

And I need everything I see
_________________________________

Something that I want

_________________________________
Something that I tell myself I need

_________________________________
Something that I want
_________________________________

And I need everything I see
_________________________________

(WHERE THE SUNBEAMS PLAY
PLAYING)
_________________________________
Where the sunbeams play 
in the highland glade
_________________________________

Where the leaves are gently falling
_________________________________

Where we used to dance
in the autumn shade
_________________________________

My foolish pride drove you away

_________________________________
Where the storm clouds rose
and the cold winds blew

_________________________________
Oh, I could not hear you calling
_________________________________

Till you took my hand
and you pulled me through
_________________________________

To where the sunbeams play
_________________________________

To ride with you
upon the wind
_________________________________

To fly above the sea
_________________________________

To be far and wide
of Neverland

_________________________________
I would dare to go

_________________________________
If you would go with me
_________________________________

Now the wind blows our love
against our day
_________________________________

And the dark of night is falling
_________________________________

But if you're with me
_________________________________

We will find our way
_________________________________

To where the sunbeams
To where the sunbeams

_________________________________
To where the sunbeams dance
_________________________________

And play

_________________________________